The Gods Visit Camp
by Me The Awesome
Summary: The gods decide to visit Camp Half-Blood for a month. Involves jokes, pranks, contests, games, parties, revenge, shows, and more! Takes place after the Titan War, I guess. Rated Teen in case. Nominated for the Veritas Awards! No OCs, all canon characters
1. Info! FYI! Etc!

**Info! FYI! Etc!**

Please read this stuff first. And check back frequently, I might've added new information.

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><p><span>Disclaimer:<span>

Stuff I don't own:  
>Percy Jackson andor the Olympians and any of its content  
>The Lost Hero andor any of its content  
>Any ideas that originally weren't mine (unless otherwise marked).<p>

Stuff I do own:  
>Jayson Maxwell Sheer<br>Xander Mintz  
>The Gods Visit Camp<br>Me the Awesome

Summary:

The gods decide to visit Camp Half-blood for a week. Involves jokes, pranks, contests, games, parties, revenge, shows, and more! No Lost Hero characters except Drew, Piper, Leo, and Jason. Takes place after the Titan War, I guess. Rated Teen in case.

Info About the Characters:

Let's just pretend Jason is staying at Camp Half-Blood in this story...

The Stolls are twins in this story.

Beckendorf, Silena, and Michael are all still alive in this story, even though it's after the War.

The gods' side DO NOT COUNT! Which means it's OK for demigods whose parents are related to date. Well, duh, otherwise you would hardly be able to date anyone (except people from the Aphrodite Cabin, since Aphrodite was born from sea foam and therefore not really related to anyone).

Physical Characterisitcs of Main Characters:

Hermes and most of his cabin: Short-ish, light (because he's supposed to be really quick on his feet and stuff), and skinny (I don't think he'd have time for weight training or wrestling with Ares), with curly brown hair, brown eyes, and elfish features (upturned eyebrows, a crooked, mischievous grin, pointed ears, and a glint in his eye when he's happy or excited).

PS. Should I include characteristics of any other characters?

Sort of a Disclaimer:

I'm sorry if I've copied an idea from someone else. Sometimes it's by accident, so please don't be too hard on me! And I would think that whoever came up with the original idea would be pleased that someone else liked that idea and used it. I would be if I were them. Anyways, pretty much every idea, item, etc. has been used before, so yeah.

Credit (you should probably read this later because it may contain spoilers for this story):

to GazmRules for evil rabid purple vampire bunnies and/or purple, evil rabid vampire bunnies

to xXxWiseGirlXxX for Chapter Ten's scene

Contact Me:

If you have an account, just PM (Private Message) me. Or write a review and I'll reply to it here (if it's important, otherwise I'll post it in the Author's Notes of whichever chapter is next). Please try to sign your reviews so I won't mix them up. Since I can't PM anonymous reviewers, I won't reply to anonymous reviews unless they're important. In that case I'll put it in an Author's Note.

Info About The Author's Notes:

1) Author's Notes will be seperated from the actual story with those line things:

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><p>That was an example.<p>

2) The Notes will also be titled _Notes:_,

3) They'll be in **BOLD**, and

4) They will always be at the beginning or end of chapters.

Piece of Obvious Information

The story begins in the next chapter.


	2. Parents' Night

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter One**

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><p><em>Hermes' POV (Point Of View)<em>

I call this Olympian Meeting to order," Zeus' loud voice still made my ears ring. "I have noticed that in many mortal schools they have this event called 'Parents' Night', where the children bring their families to school. I'd, well, like us to do the same."

As expected, a babble of protests broke out.

"So you're _encouraging_ the gods to be unfaithful to their _actual _spouses?" Hera demanded angrily.

"Erm, no, my dear," Zeus squirmed uncomfortably, "No, not at all! But the demigods who have already been born deserve some attention."

"But we do visit our kids!" Apollo objected. "At least, I do. Why do we need to go all at once?"

"We need to show that if we can get along, the campers can as well."

"That will not work," Athena warned, "we've never gotten along. And there is enough of fighting already, I've heard," she added, glaring at Ares, who shrugged.

"Who'll defend Olympus if we're all gone?" he asked.

"Hestia, can you do that?" Zeus asked, "Since you don't have any children. If there is any danger, you can just sound the alarm."

"Gladly," Hestia smiled warmly, as usual.

"How long will this thing last?" Demeter inquired.

"Only a week," Zeus replied, "and if we agree to go, then we must agree to stay for the entire week, no matter how torturous. For our children's sake."

"What does our children's sakes have to do with anything?" I wanted to know.

"Well," Zeus said hesitantly, "now that you ask me that, I have no idea. It just sounded dramatic."

Quite a few gods rolled their eyes.

Bad memories of previous visits and encounters with my demigod children flooded my mind.

Like the time Travis and Connor had been claimed, and IMed me all excited... "Guess what, Hermes! You're our dad!"... And caught me making out with Aphrodite. "Uh..."

Or the time when I'd had the most unlucking timing of me visiting camp at the same time as Ares and gave the Ares cabin some entertainment - me getting chased by their dad. Totally humiliating.

And then there was this once once when some of my kids didn't recognize me at first and I got tackled to the ground by a bunch of seven-year-olds. Never underestimate the power of midgets.

Still, I raised my hand to vote in favour of the event. So did Hestia (probably looking forward to some peaceful time alone), Hephaestus, Demeter, Aphrodite, Ares (probably still looking forward to beating me up in front of his kids), Apollo, Zeus (obviously), Poseidon and Dionysus (who wants to be alone with a giant group of little terrorists, he'd said).

"Hera, dear," Zeus began, "I understand if you don't -" Hera had already disappeared. Artemis did the same.

"Dang," Apollo murmured, "I was looking forward to Thalia." Zeus shot him a glare. "Kidding!" he said quickly.

"We will leave tomorrow morning," Zeus announced, "Pack if you need and brace yourselves."

And with that, the Olympian Council adjourned.

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><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Hermes and the Hermes Cabin will be the main characters - most of the time.**

**2) Please suggest some names for characters I'm going to use in this story if you want, or give names that I shouldn't include.**

**3) Please review (flames are allowed, but why would you want to do that?) and**

**4) Well, that's about it... I think. Oh, and**

**5) You can give me some more ideas.**

**6) Should I make the gods stay for longer than a week?**

**7) This is my first fanfiction, so please don't be too hard on me.**

**8) Is everyone in character so far?**

**9) I like pie.**

**See you soon. Well, not actually see, but, well, you get what I mean!**


	3. The Prankster Gets Pranked

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter Two**

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><p><em>Hermes' POV (Point Of View)<em>

I heaved myself out of bed, rubbing sleep out of my eyes. Usually on my days off, I try to sleep in until someone fores me to wake up, but I was trying to set a good example for my kids. So I was going to steal, lie, trick, and prank more than usual today.

It seemed quieter than usual on Olympus. Deadly silent, actually. Hopefully everyone else was still sleeping. Then I could prank them before they were even awake!

I was in the middle of changing out of my pajamas and trying to get George to shut up about rats when my door suddenly opened, and there was Apollo, smirking and holding a camera.

"You wear _pink_ pajamas?" He hooted.

"For the last time," I hissed, horrified, and pulled my blanket around me, "they're _magenta_! And they have purple, evil rabid vampire bunnies on them! How many times do I have to tell you?"

"And boxers with swears in ancient Greek?"

"Shut up!" I yelped, noticing for the first time I was in my underwear.

I can't wait to show these to everyone at camp!" he sang.

"You wouldn't dare -"

"I'll do that when we get to camp," he assured me, "But first I have to drag your lazy butt there first! It's already 9 o'clock!"

"Say what?" I spun around and looked at the clock. "What in Hades..."

_You really work yourself too hard_, Martha sympathized.

_Serves him right_, George grumbled, _for not giving me enough rats._

_Shut up_, Martha snapped.

"Listen to her," I told George.

_I always knew you liked her better than me!_

_He should._

_Hey! _They snakes began arguing as usual.

Trying to ignore their voices, I asked Apollo, "aren't you supposed to be off driving your sun chariot?"

"Nah," he grinned, "I got Persephone to do it for me instead. Anyways," he continued, "we should really go now."

"Just let me change -"

"No time!" Apollo grinned and pulled me out of my room and into camp, where I reappeared half-dressed and ready to kill my brother, no matter how immortal he was.

Laughter rang out, and soon the entire camp, which I had unfortunately appeared right in front of, was laughing wildly.

"You..." I turned my reddening face to Apollo, who was walking back to his cabin like nothing happened. I gritted my teeth.

"Get him, dad!" Connor was yelling at me. But I slunk back to my cabin quietly and whispered something to him and Travis. They smiled and nodded, then quietly led their cabin back to, well, their cabin. No one noticed since they were still laughing hysterically. I guess it isn't everyday you see a god in his underwear.

Meanwhile, I snuck up to Hades, who was snickering and had his Helm of Darkness on lopsided, so I could see him. I slowly eased it off. By the time I'd gotten it off, he still hadn't noticed a thing. I grinned and creeped off.


	4. The Prankster Pranks Back

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter ****Three**

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><p><em>Apollo<em>_'__s__ POV (Point Of View)_

Getting Hermes like that was fun while it lasted, but I knew I would regret it.

I was right.

I was talking in front of camp about a Karaoke Night I was planning, which for some reason, no one looked happy about, when Hermes swaggered back in front of us (for some reason, still not wearing any proper clothes) with a dozen watches on one arm, a billion or so bracelets in the other, a tangled bunch or necklaces on his neck (which would've looked _way_ better on me), a ring on each finger, Percy's pen Riptide (in pen form) behind his ear, casually tossing four phones around, and was that my bow slung across his shoulder? Along with his Caduceus, he also had Zeus' lightning bolt and Poseidon's trident, plus what looked like Hades' Helm of Darkness sitting crooked on his head. He smiled good naturedly at us, like robbing people was something he did everyday (which it probably was).

"Hi there... Why are you staring at me like that?" He asked, pretending to be innocent. He was blindingly bright in the glittering jewellery.

"How did you... Where..." I stammered in shock.

The rest of the camp stared for a while, then broke out in murmuring, whispering, and gasps of disbelief, with yells of "Hey, that's mine!"

I finally found my voice. So did everyone else. "How did you steal all that stuff from us?" Everyone exclaimed in unison.

"Well," he grinned crookedly, "as soon as I got hold of Hades' Helm of Darkness, stealing everything else was as easy as, well, stealing everything else."

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><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**Sorry that this one's really short, it was just to finish up the whole Bringing Hermes To Camp thing. Next chapter will probably be about Capture The Flag, so it'll be longer (hopefully).**


	5. Poor Nico

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter ****Four**

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><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have tests. Anyways, I know I said at the beginning it'll mostly focus on Hermes and his kids - it still will, but someone requested to have other Cabins join in too, so while the majority of the story will be about the Hermes Cabin, there'll also be some stuff about other characters.**

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><p><em>Nico<em>_'__s__ POV (Point Of View)_

"Early to bed and _early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise!" Apollo jumped into our Cabin happily, forgetting to knock. "The early bird gets the worm!"_

Dad's words were muffled by the pillow that he'd buried his face in as he raised a hand and the room turned pitch-black. Of course I could still see perfectly well in the dark, being the son of Hades and all, but at least now I wasn't being blinded by light streaming in from the door Apollo had opened.

"Wha - AH!" Apollo screamed, "GET ME OUT OF HERE!" He ran around, bumping into some things, and finally seemed to remember he was a god, and teleported out.

"That was a bit annoying," Dad said sleepily.

"Apollo is afraid of the dark?" I laughed. I guessed it made sense, him being the god of light, but it still seemed ridiculously funny.

"Unfortunately."

"Fortunately in this case."

"Well, we _should_ get up now," Hades said, sitting up, "When do you have breakfast?"

"Seven, I think."

"Gods, we'd better hurry. Look, it's seven right now."

We rushed around quickly getting dressed (well, more like just smoothing out our clothes that we'd worn to bed) and brushing our teeth lousily.

Stumbling out of our cabin, I stopped short at the sight of Apollo's twin sister.

"Uh, Lady Artemis?" I stammered, "What are - are - you - doing here?" I had a feeling I knew perfectly well why she was here.

"You know why I'm here," she glared at me.

Dad, looking confused, asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Your son has... a relationship. With my lieutenant."

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><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**Sorry this one's short, again... I just really wanted to update. And it's a cliffhanger! :)**


	6. Lucky Nico!

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter ****Five**

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><p><em>Nico<em>_'__s__ POV (Point Of View)_

I sat on a chair in the Big House, with Dad beside me and a stunned look on his face. I knew Zeus and Hades weren't going to like this at all, and having two of the Big Three mad at you at the same time, well, that's not a good thing.

My dad said to Chiron, "Can you leave us to discuss this alone?"

"Gladly, Lord Hades." He bowed to my dad and trotted out the door.

As soon as he left, Hades roared, "NICO DI ANGELO! DON'T YOU _DARE _TELL ME YOU'RE DATING THAT USELESS, STUCK-UP DAUGHTER OF ZEUS!"

"Hey!" I yelled, recoiling slightly, "Don't talk about Thalia that way!"

"I'm just disappointed at you, Nico," Dad said in a slightly more controlled tone. "I'm disappointed that you would fall for one of _Zeus' _kids."

Just then, Zeus ran in with a look of rage on his face. A second later Thalia walked in slowly with her head down.

"You - you -" Zeus glared at me and his lighting bolt appeared in his hand.

"Dad!" Thalia yelped, "don't -"

"You dare!" Hades finished, standing up. His dark aura grew stronger.

"Stop it!" Thalia and I exclaimed at the same time.

They looked at us accusingly. "If you two hadn't gotten us into this whole mess -" Zeus began, but his daughter interrupted angrily, "What mess? We're just enjoying each other's company because we like each other, and there's nothing wrong with that! Just because _you_ guys hate each other's guts doesn't mean _we _have to!"

"She has a point," I said, "What's wrong with us liking each other?"

Zeus and my dad both groped for words. We had them stumped.

Finally Zeus said, "Well, Thalia's a Hunter! She can't break her vow!"

Artemis stuck her head in right on cue. "If a Hunter is willing, she can choose to break her oath and leave the Hunters. Your daughter already has. She will not be welcomed back," she said sadly. "She has been led astray by a man." Like that was a bad thing!

"True love conquers all!" Aphrodite's voice rang out from somewhere near Artemis, who shook her head in disgust and withdrew.

Dad shook his head and had the same expression as Artemis on his face.

"I - I - guess," Zeus said finally, "if that's what you really want. But just so you know, we aren't going to support that decision."

"You guys will _never _make a good couple," Dad hissed spitefully.

"No duh," Zeus agreed, "One of them is Hades' son."

"Hey!" Hades leapt up and the two gods started arguing.

"Ugh," Thalia said, "let's go, Dead Boy." She hauled me up, smiled and kissed me, leaving me grinning like one of Dad's skeletal servants.

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><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**Sorry if it sucked, I told you (in a review) that I'm not good with romantic stuff.**


	7. Spamming is not Good

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter Six**

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><p><em>Thalia's POV (Point Of View)<em>

During lunch at the Dining Pavilion everyone was talking about Nico and I. Some were smiling at us, some shook their head, others whispered amongst themselves. But I didn't really care. I was happy. Silena even came up and smiled, "You two make a good couple." I blushed and then noticed Artemis sitting at the Artemis Cabin table with her Hunters, looking at us.

"Wait a moment," I said to my friends, then got up and walked to her.

"Uh, Lady Artemis," I cleared my throat. "I, um, I'm - I'm reallysorryIlefttheHunters!"

"Pardon?"

"I said... I'm sorry I left you and your Hunters, Lady Artemis. I really am! But now I feel truly happy! I mean," I added quickly, "I was really happy with the Hunters too, but the thing is, I'm kind of missing my friends at camp too, and I - I just think this is the right choice."

Artemis nodded. "Don't worry, Thalia. You were a good lieutenant, and my Hunters and I will miss you greatly, but I understand. If you truly believe with your heart that you've made the right choice... well, then it is."

"Thanks, Lady Artemis. I'm going to miss you too. But you're going to go now, aren't you." The truth was, even though I really wanted to be with Nico, I really _was_ going to miss the Hunters. They had been like sisters to me. Close sisters. Now I was rarely going to see them.

"Actually, I have an announcement to make," Artemis smiled. "Go sit down with your father. I'm sure he's missed you, too." I walked back to the Zeus table and dad patted me on the back, sending a small shock through me.

Artemis stood up and called for attention. "Campers, I have a very important announcement to make. As most of you know, the main reason I came here was to drop Thalia off after she left the Hunters," I blushed as everyone looked at me, "but after 30,285,739,857,489,029 spam emails from Apollo pleading me to come to camp," she glared at her brother, who shrank back slightly, "I have decided to stay for the time being."

A mixture of cheers, whistling, shouts, boos, and groans filled the air.

Artemis stormed to the Apollo table. "How did you even manage to send that much emails within 24 hours?"

Apollo high-fived Hermes, whose table was right beside his.

"Ah, having control over the internet is a wonderful thing," Hermes sighed happily.

"What - what - you -" Artemis face had a murderous look on it.

"Wrong thing to say," Hermes said as he and Apollo quickly jumped out of their seats and made a run for it, chased by a mob of angry immortal girls.

Apollo yelled a poorly written haiku over his shoulder,  
>"Spamming is not good,<br>It makes Artemis' Hunters  
><em>Really really<em> mad."

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><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**Next chapter will be longer and about Capture the Flag!**


	8. Capture the Flag

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter ****Seven**

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><p><em>Travis<em>_' POV (Point Of View)_

I was excited. We were playing Capture the Flag, which I happen to be incredibly good at. Best of all, the gods would be playing alongside their cabins!

The two team captains were Ares and Athena, the two gods of battle and war.

The teams were as follows:

Ares' Team: Zeus, Hades, Poseidon, Dionysus, Apollo, Nemesis, Eris, Aphrodite.

Athena's Team: Hephaestus, Hermes (us), Artemis, Demeter, Hecate, Iris, Hypnos, Peitho.

Nike stayed out since she was the goddess of victory.

After the team captains had picked their teams, we were given five minutes to strategize, and I suddenly noticed that all three of the Big Three were on Ares' Team.

"Why are Hades, Zeus and Poseidon all on the other team?" I demanded.

"That took you a while to notice," Annabeth muttered. I glared at her.

"The big three aren't neccessarily that _big_ when it comes to Capture the Flag," Athena explained. "We have a strong team. We'll do just fine without them."

"Hmph."

"Anyways, here's the plan, guys," Athena started talking at supersonic speed. She reminded me a lot of the Athena Cabin. Well, I guess that made sense. "Hephaestus Cabin, you guys stay on defence and make tools for the rest of us, and help set up traps. Hermes, you guys go for the flag." "Awesome!" I looked at dad. "Hey... Where is he?" Hermes had disappeared

"Probably gone off to steal something," Athena rolled her eyes..

Artemis, you and your Hunters go take Apollo first, he's the god of healing."

"Gladly!" Artemis nodded ferverently.

They'll be much weaker without him. After that help the Hermes Cabin. Hecate, you guys help place magic defenses around and help Hephaestus make magic items. Demeter, if you'd distract them with vines and all that, it'd be good. And Iris Cabin, help with distractions. My children and I will be scattered around slowing the other team down. Hypnos, put them to sleep or something. The more outnumbered they are, the better. And Peitho, you try to persuade them to stop playing the game or something." She looked around. "Everyone understands their job?"

We nodded.

"And watch out for Ares," she warned. "He may not be the smartest of the gods, but he's the god of war, and he's fast, strong, and _violent. _He isn't good at much else, he's good at Capture the Flag. He'll be our biggest threat. And since he's the god of war, he's going to be big on offence. Getting _their_ flag will be easy for us, but keeping _our _flag from _him _will be just the opposite. So you better be ready. Because," she narrowed her eyes, "I've never, ever, lost a battle. And I don't plan to, today, in a game of Capture the Flag." She sounded really intimidating saying that, so no one said anything.

A bit of awkward silence followed, until dad, who seemed to have reappeared, spoke up, "Uh, can I say something, Athena?"

"Well, I suppose. There's still some time left before - "

"Thanks," Hermes cut her off. He took a Ziploc bag from one of his pockets passed out blue earpieces to everyone. "Just stick these into your ear and you'll be able to communicate with all the other members of our team."

"Cool!" Malcolm exclaimed, "You must give me the instructions sometime."

"Me too!" Several Hephaestus guys agreed.

"No problemo," Hermes grinned, "although I must give some credit with the actual construction of the earpieces to Hephaestus. I can't stay still for that long." That was true. Out of all the cabins at Camp Half-Blood, the Hermes Cabin had the biggest attention-deficit problems.

"Uh, thank you," Athena looked suspiciously at the earpiece. They don't have any... problems, do they?"

"Gods, no!" Hermes exclaimed. "Sheesh, why would I prank my own team?"

"Not like you haven't done it before," Demeter grumbled.

Just then, Chiron's conch horn blew. The game had started.

We all ran off. Athena shouted, "remember and follow my instructions!" before heading off in the direction of Ares' and his children's shouts.

_A while later (Still Travis' POV)_

I ducked, slashed, dodged, stabbed, leapt and rolled towards the Ares flag. Within ten tiring minutes, I was at the clearing where the flag was.

"Too easy," I breathed. I approached the flag slowly, nervously looking around. But no one came. I was just about to grab the flag and run, when a figure stepped out from the trees.

It was...

Aphrodite.

Sure, I've seen her before when I was called to Olympus to explain some... pranks I had played on a few of the gods, and I knew she was _really _pretty (obviously!) but it was nothing like this, up close. She was... Unearthly.

_Duh, _I tried to tell myself, _she's a goddess._

But she was so hypnotising... So breathtaking... So -

_Snap out of it! I yelled at myself, _She's distracting you!__

But I was entranced.

"Hello, Travis," She smiled at me and I replied with something like, "Uhh, oooh, um, aghh..."

"Aren't you sweet," Aphrodite touched my cheek, making me grin stupidly.

She giggled, and my eyes stayed glued to her face, no matter how hard I tried to look away.

Suddenly she looked up and exclaimed, "Oops! Sorry Travi, gotta go!" Then smiling at whoever was behind me said, "You'll be good to him won't you Ares?" She blew a kiss and hurried off in her high heels. I sensed someone else behind me, and I heard someone familiar say, "Don't try anything with my girl, punk."

Finally taking my eyes off the goddess of love, I turned around just in time to see Ares whack me in the head with the butt of his javelin. My vision turned blurry with pain, my knees crumpled, and I collapsed onto the ground. After a few seconds I blacked out.

_A while later (Connor's POV)_

I stood up, swaying slightly, with everything still looking slightly distorted. Stumbling around clumsily, I tripped over someone on the ground. As I got up and brushed myself off, I noticed the someone lying there was _Travis_.

"Travis!" I yelled and shook him. He had a nosebleed and a bruise on his left cheek. My brother stayed limp. "Oh, get up, you great lump."

He twitched and moaned. "Avvrodidee..."

I slapped him on his bruised cheek, and he shot up like a bullet. "Wha the -?" He looked around, confused. "Wha juss happen?" His words were still slurred, like he wasn't fully awake.

"WAKE UP!" I shouted in his ear. I've found out over the years that that's the only way to wake Travis up. That or a bucket of icy water.

He jumped, and shook his head a few times. "What happened? Where am I?"

"I've no idea, bro... I just woke up too..."

He quickly leapt to his feet. "We must be late for breakfast! Come on!" Then my stupid brother finally noticed he was wearing armour. "Huh?"

"We were in the middle of Capture the Flag, remember?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. Come on, what did you do?"

"Well, I think Aphrodite sort of distracted me - and then this guy whacked me on the head."

"Wow," I exclaimed, "That's pretty much what happened to me." Suddenly I remembered. "Gods," I muttered, "Come on! We're near the flag! We've got to get it before Aphrodite or Ares shows up again!"

My brother, still looking puzzled, followed me slowly.

"Hurry up!" I said impatiently, "We've got to get it before anyone comes."

"OK, I still have no idea what we're doing."

"Just get the flag." We were in the clearing again, and this time no Aphrodite showed up. "Phew."

I talked too soon. As soon as I touched the flag, half a dozen Ares campers surrounded us.

"You think it'd be this easy, Stoll," Clarrisse grinned evilly.

"Uh, hey guys!" Travis smiled nervously. The campers just glared at him.

"Surrounded and hopelessly outnumbered by Ares guys, with no weapons whatesoever..." I gulped. "We got this _all _under control."

"Yup," Travis' eyes were wide with fear, "It's _all _good, everything's cool..."

I waited for them to permanently send us to the infirmary, but they took their time, slowly, painfully slowly, inching closer. Which made it worse.

"JUST KILL US ALREADY!" I begged. As soon as the words left my mouth, a car crashed though the trees, plowing through the campers .

Travis and I both screamed like little girls (don't blame us, we were about to get flattened into Original Stoll Flavour pancakes!), but the van just swerved dangerously and we got lifted up into the air by our collars.

"Wha - dad!" I yelled. Hermes was sitting in the driver's seat, stomping on the gas. I figured we were going at about two million miles an hour. I turned my head and saw Martha - or was it George? grinning at me. If snakes could grin.

_Did you bring me some rats? _OK, it was George. I opened my mouth but no sound came out. Finally, I managed to say, "Did - youjustliftmeintothecampvan?"

_What?_

"Did - did you... justliftme into the - the campvan?"

_Obviously,_ George respondeed, _do you think Martha could've done it?_

_Hey! _Martha, who seemed to be having the same conversation with Travis, hissed.

"Uh, dad?" My brother asked, "What are we doing?"

"Winning, of course," dad responded calmly.

"What do you mean?"

Hermes jerked a thumb towards the back of the van. And there it was.

The flag.

_Hermes' POV (Point Of View)_

"Dad!" Connor exclaimed, "how did you -"

I slammed the brakes to avoid squashing Hypnos, who was wandering around sleepily, threw Connor and Travis forward, and I heard a noise like a skull making contact with a windshield. Travis groaned in pain.

"Wear your seatbelt, kids!" I advised.

"Thanks, dad," Travis mumbled sarcastically.

"Can you actually drive?" Connor asked fretfully.

"Well, I have a driver's license." I dug it out of my pocket and threw it over to them. "This one's a copy, of course. The original's back in some police station in Texas."

"GAH!" They both screamed.

"Maybe we should've stayed with the Ares guys."

"We didn't really get to choose, remember?"

"Aargh..."

"Dad, on your license the DOB reads '1059'."

"Yeah?" I was trying to concentrate on not driving over any more people.

"Is that your actual birthday?"

"February 21 1049, actually, but I didn't want to feel _too _old."

"Wow..."

We continued to swerve and lurch dangerously around obstacles until, finally, I could see the rope dividing the two teams' sides.

"FREEDOM!" Travis and Connor yelled.

I jumped on the gas pedal and we zoomed right over an injured camper onto home turf.

"NIKE!"

_A while later (still Hermes' POV)_

After a lot of being pat on the back, high-fived, congratulated, being lifted into the air, and being awarded golden laurels by Nike (along with avoiding the Ares team), Athena finally managed to get to me and ask, "_How _did you do that?"

I rolled my eyes. "Does the title 'The King Of Thieves' mean nothing to you? Obviously I stole the van from Argus when he was sleeping."

"He _sleeps_?" A Demeter camper asked incredulously. "I thought he had, like, eyes all over his body. He never closes all his eyes at once!" Everyone was gathered around and quiet now, even the Ares guys, trying to find out how I'd gotten hold of the car.

I shrugged. "Do you guys know the story of Princess Io?"

The Athena kids all nodded their heads (surprise, surprise), along with a few other campers and all the gods (duh!).

"Well, OK, basically there was this girl called Io and Zeus went and made out with her, and then Hera found out so he turned Io into a cow to avoid attracting Hera's attention, but she found out anyways so she sent her favourite monster - Argus - to watch over the cow day and night. So the Io was pretty well guarded. But obviously Zeus wanted to get Io back so he told _me_," I jabbed a thumb into my chest proudly, "to go and bring her to him. So I went and started playing my panpipes - I invented those you know - and pretty soon, he started nodding off! Pretty soon all his eyes were closed. Then I just lopped off his head, brought Io back to Zeus, and Voila! I just did the exact same thing this time." After some horrified stares I quickly added, "without the head chopping of course."

Everyone applauded.

"Thank you, thank you," I bowed, then hung my head, "although I still am quite disappointed that no one appreciates my music."

"Aw, that's so sad!" Peitho chirped. "Why don't you play some for us right now?"

"Good idea!" Said several other sympathetic gods.

"Really?" I smiled.

"Why not? Go on," Poseidon encouraged.

I fished the instrument out of my pocket and lifted them to my lips. "Well, here it goes!" I began to play Les Troyens, which, in my opinion, is such a fascinating piece of music... I looked up to see if everyone else was enjoying it as much as I was. To my horrible surprise, everyone, except for my daughter Jayson, was snoring. Even Apollo! And his music is bad enough.

"Oh, come on! I can't be that terrible, can I?"

"That was pretty long, dad," Jayson yawned.

I sighed. "Some things never change. Come on, Jay." I took her hand and walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Hi Everyone! Hoped you liked this extremely long (and rushed) chapter (well, not really, but still longer than the others).**

**2) I'm planning to lengthen the gods' stay to a month, because I have this plan for each of the gods to pick a special event/activity of their choice for the entire camp to do (Chariot racing, a party, a play, etc.). What do you think?**

**3) I have this other idea (it'll be a seperate story) about the gods coming to camp for the Camp Half-Blood Olympics. Is this a good story idea? Hope no one has done it yet (although I doubt it).**

****4) I chose the song Les Troyens because it's really really long, and it's Greek (Les Troyens means The Trojans - it was an opera based on the _Aeneid_ by Virgil)! Search it up.****


	9. Aphrodite's Plan

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

><p><em>Third Person's POV (Point of View)<em>

"ATTENTION! CAMPERS, ATTENTION!" Chiron was yelling and blowing his conch horn in vain, trying to get back the camp's attention and failing miserably. He'd just revealed the that the gods would be extending their visit to one month, and the fact that each of the gods and their cabins could choose and plan one event that the whole camp would have to participate in. Now everyone was mobbing their parent and pestering them to pick the event they wanted.

Finally the crowd of campers calmed down enough for Chiron to continue, "And we will be drawing out names to pick who will go first!"

Everything became chaotic again, every camper wanting themselves to draw out the name.

"SILENCE!" Chiron ordered, "I will let the campfire decide."

"What?" Most of the campers looked puzzled. The ones who didn't yelled, "Read Harry Potter, people! Specifically the Goblet of Fire!"

"That cleared it up," someone muttered.

Chiron called out, "Please have each god write their names on a piece of paper, and come up to throw it into the fire!"

Instantly all the cabins started hurrying around searching for paper, except the Athena kids, who apparently carried notebooks around all the time, and the Ares cabin, who simply snatched a piece from a new Athena camper.

Apollo was busy composing a haiku about how he couldn't find a pen, and his sister was trying to stick an arrow up his nose. At last all the gods had managed to write their name down and throw it into the campfire.

"So..." someone prompted, "Now what?"

"The campfire will choose a cabin," Chiron explained again. "Just wait for it."

After a while, still nothing had happened. Even Chiron was slightly puzzled now. Then finally, a piece of paper leapt out of the flames and into. Chiron's startled hand. He quickly composed himself and read out the name.

"Aphrodite."

The girls in the Aphrodite Cabin all squealed, except for Piper, who rolled her eyes. Everyone else that wasn't in that cabin groaned.

"Well, isn't that wonderful!" Aphrodite said cheerfully.

"You will have tonight to plan your event!" Chiron boomed. "Tomorrow, after breakfast, we will start."

"The event won't take all day," Drew said. "It'll be in the evening." The cabin seemed to have already decided on what they were going to do.

"But most of the campers will probably need part of the day to prepare," Aphrodite said secretively.

"What _are_ you planning?" Everyone wanted to know.

"Oh, you'll see," Piper grinned.

"Uh-oh," Several of the gods commented.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Sorry about the shortness.**

**2) It's not really hard to guess what the Aphrodite Cabin is planning...**

**3) I've added Jason into this story. He's going to be slightly important in the activity they're planning. :)**

**4) School is out next Tuesday! Which means I'll have more time to update (hopefully).**


	10. It's Spelled D A N C E

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter ****Nine**

* * *

><p><em>Random Camper's POV (Point of View)<em>

Everyone was wondering what the Aphrodite Cabin could possibly be up to.

"Something not good, obviously," someone said.

We all expected it to be something highly embarrasing.

But the next morning, it turned out to be only mildly humiliating.

_The next day (Xander's POV)_

"Dad, you know what they're planning, right?" I asked Apollo.

"Of course!" He grinned. "God of prophecy, remember? I found out two years ago."

"Then tell me!" I begged. I hated suspense.

"That would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it? You'll find out in a few minutes anyway."

I sighed. "You can be _so_ annoying sometimes, dad."

"I hear that a lot."

_A little while later (Xander's POV)_

I walked out of the Apollo Cabin with the rest of my siblings. Dad was taking an extremely long time in the shower so we decided to leave him behind.

"Phew," Will said. "No sign of any Aphrodite campers - or their work... Yet."

"Let's go to the pavilion hall," I suggested, "I'm starving."

_In the Dining Pavilion (Xander's POV)_

"Whoa," I said. The entire pavilion had been decorated with red and pink balloons and streamers. All the tables had been painted pink. Ares was _not_ going to be happy...

"Hi!" Lacy waved as she put up streamers.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Will asked.

"Oh, we're just preparing for the dance," she replied casually.

"DANCE?"

"Well, yeah. Didn't you guys listen at breakfast?"

"What do you mean? Yesterday's breakfast?"

"No, silly. TODAY! The Harpies came to clean up a few minutes ago, remember?"

I quickly grabbed Will's arm and looked at his watch. "9:30?" I was incredulous.

"How's that possible?" the entire cabin exclaimed simultaneously.

"We missed breakfast?" I asked stupidly.

"Obviously," Drew rolled her eyes.

"Now I'm really starving."

"Aren't you guys going to get ready for the dance now?" Piper asked us.

"What?"

She sighed. "D-A-N-C-E. DANCE. Where you -"

"I know what dance means, thank you. I _meant_, what are you supposed to get ready for? Not like we have to go."

"Actually, you do," Piper said. "Remember what Chiron said about these activities? Everyone must take part."

"Dang, dang, dang, dang," I mumbled. "But we don't have to go to the dance _with_ someone, do we?"

"That's the point!" Silena exclaimed excitedly. "It's the _perfect_ way to get people together! Even more efficient than shoving people into the supply closet."

"So we _have _to ask someone out?"

"_Exactly_!"

"This is not good."

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Another short chapter because I LIKE CLIFFHANGERS! And also because**

**2) I need your input on how everyone's going to be asked to the dance (I'm very uncreative when it comes to thinking up ways to ask someone out, because I don't have any experience :)). I'm going to include scenes for the following pairs: Thalia/Nico, Piper/Jason, Travis/Katie, Percy/Annabeth, Chris/Clarisse... Who else?**

**3) I also need character suggestions for people like Leo and Connor to go out with. Because everyone has to have a date!**

**4) Don't forget the gods! I have a few pairs in mind already, but give me suggestions, because I really can't decide!**

**5) I probably won't be able to update unless I get some ideas from you, because if I don't then I'll suffer from Writer's Block... And stuff stuff stuff. SO GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS!**

**6) Please?**

**7) And please give me creative ideas (so not just some dude asking, "Can you go to the dance with me?", because I can think of that kind of stuff myself.**

**8) One more thing: Obviously Xander is an OC I made up.**


	11. Just Ask!

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter T****en**

* * *

><p><em>Will<em>_'s POV (Point of View)_

I was supposed to be at Archery right now, but I'd forgotten my arrows. My mind was still on the dance that the Aphrodite Cabin was planning, and who I was going to try to ask. I ran into my cabin and was about to grab my arrows when I heard piano music coming from the instrument room. It couldn't be any of my siblings, they were still waiting for me at the archery range. But whoever was playing was good at it. Almost as good as me, and that's saying a lot. It was a long, beautiful piece, and I could feel my eyelids closing, when suddenly, whoever was playing started banging on the piano keys. "And the car goes 'KABOOM'!" She yelled.

"Nyssa?" What was a daughter of Hephaestus doing here? I opened the door.

She turned around so fast she nearly fell off the piano bench. A blush started rising to her cheeks. "Aren't you supposed to be at target practice?" She asked in a small voice.

"I forgot my arrows," I shrugged. "You're good."

"You heard me?" she asked nervously.

"I was listening the whole time. I didn't even know you played an instrument."

"I did, before I went to camp," she explained, "When I was leaving for camp, my mom made me promise to practice everyday."

"Oh... So do you like piano?"

"Hades no!" She exclaimed. "I just do it to please mom."

"OK then... What was up with the 'KABOOM!' part?"

"I told you! I don't like practicing. It's too boring. So I , uh, liven it up a bit."

"Uh huh."

_Nyssa'__s POV (Point of View)_

Why was I telling all this information about my personal life to a guy I'd barely spoken to before?

_It's because you like him_, a sick little voice in my head said. _Why don't you ask him to the dance?_

_Why don't you shut up?_ I told the voice.

Ignoring the voice, I focused on Will. He started fidgeting and his face was the colour of a cherry tomato.

"Nyssa..." He looked at the ground. "I have a question..."

"Fire away."

"Do you want to go to the dance with me?"

I grinned. "Why not?"

* * *

><p><em>Chris' POV (Point Of View)<em>

Clarisse was training in the sword arena, as usual, when I found her.

"Hey," I greeted.

"Hey," she hacked a dummy to bits.

"Are you going to the dance?" I said out of the blue.

"Not if I can get away with it."

"I figured."

"Then why'd you ask?" her attention still on the dummy she was shredding.

"Because maybe you'd want to go with me?" I questioned casually.

Clarisse froze and dropped her spear.

After a silence, she replied, "Still no."

"Please?"

"Ugh, fine," she smiled slightly, her face red. I wasn't sure what was stranger: the fact that Clarisse La Rue had agreed to go to the dance with me, or that she was blushing.

"So, you up for a duel?"

"Always."

* * *

><p><em>Thalia's POV (Point Of View)<em>

My day was ruined when a undead zombie warrior attacked me.  
>"WHAT THE HADES?" I yelled and slashed at it violently, and it crumpled, then began slowly reassembling itself. "Who the hades would send a freaking zombie after me?" I turned. "Nico..."<p>

He was hiding behind a bush.

"Okay death boy, when I'm done with you I'll -"  
>"WAIT WAIT, wait!" He said hurriedly. "Gods Thalia, didn't you see what the zombie was carrying?"<br>I rolled my eyes. "Um, not really, I was kind of busy trying not to be killed..."  
>"Ugh, it had flowers! Dont you get it? Connect the dots..." Nico threw his hands up in annoyance.<br>After a moment I asked, "Your asking me to the dance?"

"Well, that took a while."

* * *

><p><em>Rachel's POV (Point Of View)<em>

I was in my cave, trying out a new art technique: painting with my toes. It wasn't working too well, but I was going to persevere.

Suddenly someone outside called, "Rachel?"

"Is that you Apollo?" I yelled back.

"Who else has such a beautiful voice?" Yup, it was him, arrogant as usual. I wondered if he'd stopped composing haikus. But I knew it was a false hope.

He stepped in and ran his hands through his hair. "Um."

"Um..." I prompted.

"You know how Aphrodite is holding a dance tonight, and everyone has to go?"

"Get to the point."

"Well, that includes you... So..."

"OH. You want _me_ to go to the dance with you, so it wouldn't seem like I was about to break my vows."

"Exactly!" He said cheerfully, and started walking away. "OK, then! It starts after campfire,so -"

"Wait," I called after him, "I didn't say yes, you know."

He wheeled around and had a stunned look on his face, like he couldn't believe I'd refuse.

I laughed. The look on his face was so ridiculous, it was funny. "Just kidding, man! - I mean god."

* * *

><p><em>Third Person's POV (Point Of View)<em>

"Chiron, could you do a favor for me?" Artemis asked.  
>"Anything Lady Artemis." The centaur responded.<br>She looked nervous, and started speaking in a very formal manner. "As you are aware of, I have sworn off men, but I still need a partner for the dance."  
>"And so you wish for me to accompany you." Chiron guessed.<br>"Yes." Artemis replied solemnly.  
>"Alright. I was wondering who you would go with." He agreed, smiling.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Annabeth's POV (Point Of View)<em>

Where was Percy? He said he'd be coming to the sword arena around now. Probably forgot again, the Seaweed Brain.

I went to go look for him. He wasn't in his cabin... Arts and Crafts tent? Nope... Not at the Pegasus Stables, or the lava climbing wall, either. Hm. The canoe lake! Where else would a son of Poseidon be?

I made my way towards the lake, but still didn't see any sign of him. Maybe he'd gone swimming. Just then, I noticed something set into the sand in front of me. A sea shell! Strange. We didn't have many animals living in the lake ever since that prank the Hermes Cabin did. Especially not shellfish. Must be Percy's doing. I looked further and saw a line of the tiny shells. It was leaning to the left, and at the top end of the line it was joined by another diagonal line. In the centre, between the two diagonal lines, was a shorter, horizontal line. An 'A'? The letters were so large I could read them perfectly fine, even with my dyslexia.

W I SE G I R L WIL Y O U GOTO TH E DA NC E W I T H ME ?

Suddenly Percy's voice asked behind me, "So will you?"

I turned around. "'Will' is spelled with two 'l's."

"Oh. But back to the message..."

I snorted. "Use your seaweed brain, seaweed brain! Did you think I would say no?"

"I take it as a yes?" It was more of a statement than a question.

And I confirmed it with a kiss.

Suddenly, my mom jumped out from somewhere and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Uh, kissing my boyfriend?"

"You're dating SEASPAWN! Don't you know better than that?"

Percy was cringing behind me in case Athena suddenly lost it (which, in my opinion, had already happened) and tried vaporise him.

"Seriously, mom!"

"AND YOU!" She pointed a finger at Percy. "HOW DARE YOU EVEN ASK HER?"

"Um," Percy mumbled anxiously, "Uh... We're sorta - er, dating."

"DATING?" Athena yelled.

At that moment Poseidon appeared. Just our luck.

"Who?" He asked.

"My daughter and your son!"

"Oh. Well, why not?"

"WHY NOT? ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU THINK I'D WANT MY DAUGHTER DATING POSEIDON SPAWN?"

"OK, calm down. Deep breaths. In, out. In, out."

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

Poseidon crossed his arms. "Now you're ticking me off."

"I was ticked off a long time ago! Curse you to Tartarus for even _having_ that boy!"

"Wow, mom, that's taking things too far!" I was really annoyed now.

"Annabeth -" Percy started, but I shrugged him off.

"Mom, I thought you were the goddess of wisdom! You're not being too wise right now!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Gods, that lady was screaming a lot lately.

"I said you're not being very wise right now."

"MY OWN DAUGHTER! HOW COULD YOU?"

"Well, you were telling me off for agreeing to go to the dance with someone I love -"

"Did someone say 'love'?" Aphrodite materialized behind Athena.

"Yes, someone did! SOMEONE said that they loved the son of a kelp head!"

"Oh, Percy, did you ask Annabeth to the dance? How sweet -"

"SWEET? WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?"

"Whoa. Relax, Athena! Deep breaths. In, out. In, out."

"I tried that," Poseidon muttered. "And failed."

"Well, this is an all too unloving atmosphere. I think I'll go now. But first, I came to tell you that my kids and I have decided that every girl and goddess attending the dance are to wear dresses."

We stopped arguing. "What?"

"Every. Girl. Has. To. Wear. A. Dress. To. The. Dance," Aphrodite repeated slowly.

"You're joking. Was this just to shock us out of arguing?"

"Nope! It's true. Ask Apollo*!"

"Bad, bad, bad!" Athena started pacing around, murmuring. "Bad! Bad!"

"Sad, sad, sad!" I started doing the same. "Sad! Sad!

"Well, at least they've stopped the yelling."

_Athena's (POV)_

"Hello, Owl Face," Poseidon said.

"That's about the politest thing you've said to me in a year."

"Do you want to go to the dance with me?"

"Since I've got no one... Sure, whatever." **

_Hermes' POV (Point Of View)_

"Hey, dad!" The Stolls tromped into the cabin. "Got a date yet? We both have!"

I sighed. I sure knew who I _wanted_ to ask out, but she'd probably slap me. "Nope. Who am I supposed to ask?"

"How about Aphrodite?" They said, "Remember when we Iris-Messaged you and saw you making out with her?"

"Well, I sorta bribed her with a stolen sandal..." I admitted.

"Uh - We're not going to ask."

"Wait -" I straightened up, thinking about what they had said earlier. "That's it! IRIS! Thanks!"

I ran for the Iris Cabin.

"Hey Iris!" I said, leaning against the doorway for a second to catch my breath, "Have you gotten a date for the dance yet?"

"No..."

"Go with me!"

"As friends, right?"

"Obviously."

"Well, uh -"

"Thanks!"

I ran back into Cabin 11.

"Done!" I shouted.

"Wow, that must've broken some sort of camp record..." Connor commented.

"If there was a record for the fastest asking-someone-to-a-dance." Travis agreed.

**Notes:**

*** Since he's the god of light.**

**** SO CASUAL! Especially after the Percy/Annabeth scene.**

**1) WOOHOO! OVER 100 REVIEWS!**

**2) Why there is no Piper and Jason scene? I didn't know what to write! Let's just pretend he asked her out the normal, boring way.**

**3) This chapter sucked... Ah well. The next chapter will hopefully be better, because I'm going to write about the actual dance!**

**4) More ideas?**

**5) I got bored today and made a collage of the dresses that the goddesses and demigods (girls only, obviously) at camp are going to wear. Go to my Profile page, the link is in the fourth paragraph.**

**6) Ana (an anonymous reviewer) suggested I put all these scenes into one chapter. That's a great idea! As you can see I'm using it.**

**7) Thanks to xXxWiseGirlXxX for the Thalia/Nico scene.**

**7) Thanks to BJ Burrus for ideas for the Percy/Annabeth one.**

**8) I know Athena sorta overreacted, but there's a reason for it, I'll reveal it in Chapter Fourteen.**


	12. Katie and Travis Sitting in a Tree

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

><p><em>Travi<em>_s__'__ POV (Point of View)_

I was lounging on my chair with my feet on the desk, thinking about how to ask Katie out.

"Watcha doing?" Connor walked into the cabin.

"I need to find a way to ask Katie to the dance!" I said.

"Oh. Why don't you just go tell her? That's what I did for Lou."

"I tried! I tried everything! I asked her, gave her a rose, sang a song, played a prank, everything!" I sighed. "She still hates my guts."

"Well, that's slightly complicated," My brother commented.

"Slightly?"

"Well, just go to one of the Aphrodite campers for help."

"They'll just tell me the same thing that you told me."

"Hm... I'm not really good with this love stuff, so -"

"Don't you use that as an excuse! You've had seven girlfriends this year alone!"

"Well, I've never had a girlfriend who was my enemy..."

"She's not _my_ enemy! I'm_ her's_!"

"Can't help you there, bro." Connor said apologetically.

I sighed.

_Connor's POV (Point of View)_

My brother suddenly shot up from his chair banging his head on the bottom of my jaw.

"OW!" we both cried out.

Travis quickly recovered. He exclaimed, "I'm a genius!"

"Don't need to brag," I rubbed my jaw.

"I just thought of the perfect way to ask Katie to the dance!"

"That's what you said about the time we dunked Nico into the lake. Look how well that turned out."

"Hey! It worked out pretty much according to plan! Other than the haunted-by-ghosts-for-a-month thing."

"Sure... So what's your plan?"

He leaned close to my ear and whispered something.

"Uh, you sure this'll work?"

"Absolutely! He grinned.

"Let's just hope she'll wait that long."

Travis was already out the door.

_Travis' POV (Point of View)_

Katie was in the strawberry fields, tending to the plants. I stumbled through the field, tripping over plant stems and stubbing my toe on clumps of dirt. Gardening is _not_ my thing. She turned around and sighed exasperatingly. "What are you up to now, Stoll?"

"Why do you always think I'm 'up to something'?" I demanded.

"Because you always are." She had a point there.

"I wanted to say hi, that's all."

"Riiiight," she said sarcastically.

"Really! Just came to learn some gardening."

"Haha... You, gardening? Funny."

"You're right," I said slowly, a plan forming in my mind, "I _don't_ like gardening. Gardening is boring!"

Katie straightened up. "Ex_cuse_ me?"

"I said," leaning closer, "gardening is _boring_! And so. Are. You!"

She gasped in surprise. "Did you just call me _boring_, Travis Connor* Stoll?"

"Obviously. Unless you have hearing problems? I think _all _Demeter kids are boring! Seriously?" I laughed. "Growing plants. _Soooo_ exciting."

"You - you -" her face got red, then she crossed her arms. "You're trying to get on my nerves, aren't you. Even Connor wouldn't say that!"  
>"Oh yeah? My <em>dad<em> would say that."

"Yeah right."

"Wanna bet?"

"And win? Absolutely."

I smiled. She was such an easy target. "I'll give you my dessert for an entire month. I swear on the River Styx." My dessert was something I took very seriously, but I was willing to risk it. "But if I _win_, _you_ have to go to the dance with me," I grinned.

"Deal," Katie replied quickly. "I swear on the River Styx that if Hermes says Demeter kids are boring, I'll go to the dance with you. But there's no chance of that happening," she smiled. "Get ready to give up dessert for a month."

"In your dreams."

_Katie's POV (Point of View)_

I was looking forward to two helpings of dessert every day for a month.

Humming to myself, I continued to grow the strawberry plants. Suddenly a voice behind me called, "Katie!" I turned and found Hermes making his way towards us.

"Um..." Hermes looked uncomfortable. "I don't actually mean this, but... Uh, my son Travis told me to tell you that Demeter kids are boring. Why, I have no idea. Don't take it personally though! It's not true. He was nagging me!"

I whipped around and glared at Travis. "You - set this whole thing up?"

"Sure I did," Travis had a broad smile on his face.

"What?" Hermes asked cluelessly.

"Dad!" The older of the Stoll brothers said brightly. "Thanks to you, Katie Gardner is going to the dance with me."

"Huh?" The messenger of the gods was still not catching on, so I explained Travis' dirty trick to him.

After the explanation, Hermes chuckled. "That wasn't surprising, really. Aphrodite's had you on her 'Couples-To-Be' list for years."

_Travis' POV (Point of View)_

:O

_Katie's POV (Point of View)_

:O

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

***Yes, in here Travis' middle name is Connor and Connor's middle name is Travis. Let's just pretend their mom isn't the best with names. :)**

**1) Yay! A longer chapter.**

**2) I'm not really pleased with this chapter, but hope you guys enjoy it anyway.**

**3) While I'm waiting for more ideas, I've started a new story called The Olympians At School. It's, as the title implies, about the Olympians at a school. I know this has been done before, but none of the ones I've seen are how I imagined, so I decided to write one myself. :) Please check it out!**


	13. The Dance

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Hi guys!**

**2) I am terrificly (I doubt I spelt that right) sorry that I haven't updated in like a billion years. I was busy with... Stuff. Sorry sorry sorry. :(**

**3) By the way, Mark and Sherman are **_**not**_** OCs. They're mentioned in the Demigod Files.**

**4) Junior High starts on Thursday (September 1st), so I might not be updating very fast. MAYBE.**

**Now to the story!**

_Clarisse' POV (Point Of View)_

Mark and Sherman pranced into the cabin, smiling broadly.

"What are you guys so happy about?" I asked, not in a mean way, but not exactly friendly either.

"Clarisse's going to have to wear a dress!" Sherman sang.

"A girly, girly dress!" Mark added gleefully.

"A WHAT?" My eyebrows shot straight off my forehead.

"Aphrodite said," Sherman explained, "all the girls have to wear a dress."

"You guys better not be lying," I stomped out the door to have a word with Silena about this.

"Hey," Silena said casually as I burst through the Aphrodite Cabin. "I was expecting you."

"Mark and Sherman said that you guys are requiring us to wear dresses." I crossed my arms. "They're lying, right?"

She smiled coyly. "Sorry, Clarisse."

I stood there in shock for about five seconds, then glared at her. "I wouldn't be caught dead in one."

"Oh, come on!" Silena pleaded. "You'll look wonderful! Chris' eyes are going to pop out of his head!"

I turned red. "All the more reason to _not_ wear one."

She sighed. "Well, we've made up our minds. Why don't I come over to take a look at your wardrobe?"

After much threats, begging, and reverse psychology, I finally relented and let Silena look around my small pile of clothes. She wouldn't succeed in finding anything. I had nothing even remotely dress-like. After rummaging a while, she pulled out two camouflage t-shirts.

"Aha!" She exclaimed. She held it against me to see how it would look. "Perfect."

"Not," I muttered. "How the Hades am I supposed to wear _that_ as a dress?"

She ignored me. "Do you know how to sew?"

"Um..." I didn't really like where this was going. "Why...?"

"I'll take that as a no. You won't mind if I cut these up, will you?" She looked around for scissors.

"You'd owe me a camo shirt."

"Fine," she cut of the top part of one of the t-shirts, so now it was an trapezoidal rectangle.

"Wait one moment," she rushed out the door, and zipped back just as quickly, holding what looked like a sewing machine.

"Now, if these instructions Charlie gave me are correct..." she mumbled to herself while threading a green thread through a hole at the top of the machine. After a while of fumbling with the thin string, she put the two pieces of clothing together and stuck it under the sewing machine and pressed a button.

Instantly the machine whirred to life and started moving up and down at a rapid speed. After only a few seconds, Silena quickly pressed the button again, and it stopped moving. She tugged out the now-sewn-together t-shirts and looked at it critically.

"Hm," she put it back under the machine and started it up again, then stopped it, and examined it closely once again.

After repeating this process several times, she finally gave a satisfied smile and commanded me to try it on.

I did so grudgingly, and after Silena looked at me thoughtfully for a while, she decided, "you need some sort of belt. The dress looks too plain." Before I could protest, she'd conjured up a thick, pink sash and made it tie itself to my waist.

"No," I tried to get it off. "You talked me into wearing the dress, but I'm _not_, _never_, in a thousand years, going to wear that!"

She sighed and changed the colour to blood red. "Better?"

"Not much..."

She made a floor length mirror appear in front of me. "What do you think?"

The dress looked like it'd been made to fit me perfectly. The machine was probably enchanted or something.

"Not bad," I sighed in resignation.

"Why don't I get Chris to come here and take a look?"

"NO!" I shouted, horrified, but Silena was already out the door. A moment later, she came back in, dragging Chris behind her, who was complaining loudly, but trailed off, eyes wide with surprise.

I immediately blushed. "This was NOT my idea!" I hid behind a bunk bed. "Silena insisted!"

He beamed. "You look flawless."

_Later (Hermes' POV)_

"The dance starts in an hour," I informed the cabin. They didn't even look up from what they were doing. "Aren't you going to prepare?"

"Prepare for what?" Travis asked confusedly.

"The dance!" I exclaimed incredulously. Had they forgotten?

"Oh, the dance!" Travis said. "Well, what's there to prepare for?"

"I dunno, aren't you going to dress up or something?"

They looked at me like I had turned into a satyr.

"Um, ok, never mind, then," I shrugged and started helping Connor and Travis plan for their next prank.

_One hour later (Aphrodite's POV)_

"This is amazing!" I exclaimed, looking at the decorations the Hephaestus Cabin had put up in the Dining Pavilion. The tables had been moved close to the brazier, and each was brimming with refreshments of every kind, along with stacks of empty disposable cups, plates, spoons, etc. The space beyond the central fire was empty except for benches lining the outside. There were streamers and balloons of every colour (Iris would love that) tied to the tables, with the symbols of each god and goddess on the table cloths and painted onto the benches. What was the most amazing was the floor design. It was a brightly coloured mosaic of various scenes of the heroes at camp: Clarisse killing the drakon; Percy and Annabeth in the Tunnel of Love; Leo on the bronze dragon; Nico surrounded by his undead skeleton warriors; Rachel becoming the Oracle. Everything was in amazing detail.

"Heppy!" I kissed him. "You are _wonderful_!"

He grinned happily, while his children coughed and looked away.

"So, uh, dad," Beckendorf said awkwardly, "are we going to prepare the fireworks now?"

He broke away. "Um, yeah. Sure, Ok."

The Hephaestus Cabin trooped down to the lake to set up for the firework show.

I turned to my cabin, satisfied. "Looks like everything's ready to go for the dance! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a meeting to go to..."

_Iris' POV (Point Of View)_

Aphrodite stood on the ping pong table of the Big House. "Welcome to the first official Push Hermes Into Artemis meeting!"

Uh-oh.

_Twenty minutes later._

"Remember, Hades, when you're pushing Hermes, you have to wear your Cap of Invisibility, because -"

"OK, OK!" Hades shouted. "It's the fifth time you've reminded me!"

_At the Dance_

Hermes walked up to me with a handful of junkfood in his hands.

"Mmm," he said with his mouth full of a gooey brownish substance, "I never knew mortals made such great food!"

"Um, sure!" I tried to sound enthusiastic, but whatever was in Hermes' mouth didn't look edible at all. I was about to suggest that we go over to the refreshments table, where Artemis was talking to Chiron, so we could get Aphrodites' plan over with, but he interrupted, sticking a red plastic package in my face. I could just make out the words 'Skittles' in large letters.

"Taste the RAINBOW!" He ordered.

I pulled a face. "That sounds wrong in many ways."

He shrugged and shoved the entire contents of the bag into his mouth, which was probably going to make him even more hyper, while I suggested, "Let's go get a drink."

He looked at the Coke bottles he was holding, confused. "But I just -"

I dragged him over to the refreshments, where Artemis was still standing.

But he didn't even notice her, instead grabbing a glass and demanding, "Orange cream soda!"

"Hey, Artemis!" I said loudly, to get Hermes' attention. If what Aphrodite had said was true...

"Oh! Hi Iris!" She waved and started to walk over. "How're you?"

Hermes let go of his soda, which sloshed onto the table, quickly spat out his mouthful of Skittles, and stood up straight. "Hello!" He waved.

"Um, hello to you too," she said, slightly distastefully.

"So, uh!" He smiled eagerly. "Uh, I, um... What are you doing?"

"Talking, duh," she rolled her eyes.

"Oh! Well, cool! That's cool. Very cool..."

While Hermes and Artemis were failing to engage in proper conversation, I whispered to Hades (who was hopefully near me), "Hades! You there?"

"Uh-huh," a voice beside said quietly.

"Then, what are you waiting for? Push 'im!"

So he did.

Hermes flailed his arms rather comically as he tried to regain his balance, but it was in vain, as he toppled onto a very surprised Artemis, sending them both crashing to the ground.

"Mmrff!" Artemis tried to say something, but it was kind of hard with her face in Hermes' chest. She pushed him off. "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!"

Hermes stepped away quickly, turning very red. "Sorry!" he said as he bumped into the refreshment table and crashed into a punch fountain.

Apollo pushed through the crowd, dragging Rachel behind him. "You okay, sis?"

"I'm fine!" She glared at Hermes.

"I didn't do that!" He protested.

"Then who did?" Artemis demanded. "Some invisible force?"

She had unwittingly guessed the exact culprit.

"Well, you never know," Hermes began rambling on and on about a time when he'd sprinted into a telephone pole. "Anything can happen."

_Percy's POV (Point Of View)_

I wasn't too eager to go to the refreshment table after what had happened with Artemis and Hermes, but Annabeth just rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Seaweed Brain, it was just an _accident_." She assured me. "Lord Hermes probably just tripped over his winged shoes or something. I'm thirsty, and that chocolate milk is looking really good right now."

"But what if the tables are enchanted or something?" I protested as we walked towards them.

"Who would want make tables move?" When she put it that way, it did sound pretty stupid, and I wanted to have a taste of some of those relish-flavored chips.

_Third Person's POV (but sort of Hades' POV)_

Hades was annoyed. He had just been about to leave the refreshment table that he'd been standing at when he'd pushed Hermes into Artemis. Then two demigods (he thought they were demigods; he couldn't really tell in the dark) walked and stood on either side of him, chatting. He recognized one of them as being that annoying brat, Percy Jackson's. Forgetting that he was invisible, he was outraged that a) the two of them were standing right in his path, and b) had failed to even acknowledge him, like he wasn't even there.

_How rude_, Hades thought to himself. _Especially to an immortal!_ He wasn't really in the mood to zap them, though, so he did what he had done moments before, again. He pushed one of them.

_Percy's POV (Point Of View)_

"GACK!" Annabeth cried as she fell for no apparent reason, right on top of me, her lips mashing against mine.

It was then that I said something I thought I'd never have the chance to say to Annabeth. "I told you so."

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) I know, this chapter is really sucky and rushed. But at least it's something, right?**

**2) Thank you to GazmRules for giving me the idea of pushing Hermes into Artemis! :)**

**3) I just found out something. Hermes is the great-grandfather of Odysseus on his mom's side, **_**and**_** his dad's side. If that's not messed up, I don't know what is.**


	14. Let Us Eat Pie

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter <strong>**Thirteen**

* * *

><p><em>Third Person's POV (Point Of View)<em>

It was well after 11:00 pm. After the gods magically cleaned up all the dance materials, a bleary eyed Chiron once again made each of the gods write their names on a piece of paper and tossed them into the campfire. This time, the paper jumped out rather quickly.

"Artemis."

She looked surprised. "Give us the night to decide," she told the camp. "I'm not exactly sure what to plan yet."

All they knew was that the guys at the camp were in for a _lot_ of trouble.

_Later (Third Person's POV)_

Hermes' children had decided to 'honour' him by giving him the floor to sleep on. Naturally, he had retaliated by magicking away their bunkbeds (temporarily, of course) and giving himself a comfy king-sized bed. He'd hoped for a good sleep. After all, he hadn't had one in months, what with all the mail going about 24/7. This hope was in vain. What had he expected? That his kids would behave themselves for once because a powerful god of Olympus was in their cabin? Yeah, something like that. But no. They were acting as immature as ever. Hermes supposed that he only had himself to blame for passing on this particular personality trait.

After the demigods saw the enormous bed their dad had conjured up, they immediately took advantage of the rare opportunity, and leapt onto the bed - all ten of them - at once, with his youngest kids, Dahey and Swithinn, landing on Hermes.

"Oof!" Hermes (and the bed) groaned under all the weight.

"Yo, dad," Travis said. "This is one awesome bed."

"Totally," Connor agreed. "If Chiron agreed to buy these in place of our bunkbeds..."

"He doesn't need to." Chris said. "Dad, where did you get this? I _have_ to go steal me one of these."

"I, uh, stole it from this hotel in France."

Sometimes he wondered if he was a bad influence for his kids. Or maybe it was the other way around.

_(Later)_

Hermes couldn't sleep. Obviously he tried to, but you try to sleep with ten naturally hyperactive kids running around playing tag, singing mock opera, and trying to give each other swirlies. Sure, it was slightly amusing at first: seeing Travis giving himself a wedgie, filming Chris proposing to a rock and leaving a videotape copy outside the Ares Cabin, Connor trying to eat a jar of Brussels sprouts (who knew some people collected jars of mouldy pickled veggies under their bunkbed?).

But it was already midnight, and the demigods were still energetic as ever.

He wondered whether all half-bloods were like that, or it was just his own bad luck.

After a while, the older kids finally got the younger ones to go to bed (probably didn't want them interfering with whatever nasty and highly inappropriate game they were about to play) with many lavish bribes and promises of sugary candy and caffeinated drinks.

But what came next was not expected. Connor and Travis got out of the Cabin and returned a few minutes later, their arms drooping with the effort of carrying about a dozen pies each.

"What the –" Hermes started to say, but quickly shut up, pretending to be asleep, so his kids wouldn't try to drag him into what they were planning.

Fortunately, they didn't hear. Unfortunately, the activity they had in mind was a pie-eating contest, and the results were just plain awful.

Chris, who was allergic to gluten, was the referee, and shouted, "On your marks… LET THE PIE EATING BEGIN!"  
>Immediately Travis and Connor planted their faces into the pies in front of them.<p>

Some of the others were slightly more hygienic and opted to use their hands instead.

After finishing a whole pie, Travis moaned and clutched at his stomach.

"Lame!" Chris declared.

Connor followed his twin's example soon after.

"Absolutely repulsive!" Chris insulted.

The twins were too sick to fire back.

Seven pies and three vomits later, only one contestant was remaining. She had eaten three pies and was still going strong.

"Jayson, are you sure that's… um, normal?" Hermes asked, concerned. See, he wasn't that bad of a father. He stepped in when his kids went a bit too far. Like eating a bazillion pies, for instance.

"Don't worry, dad," Chris assured him. "She won't explode. Jay has a bottomless pit deeper than Tartarus for a stomach."

"Nice to know," Hermes gulped. He should really visit his kids more often. He hadn't even known that Jayson existed until he'd come to camp.

At about two in the morning, Hermes finally decided to go to sleep, regardless of the consequences that would probably come with leaving a group of wired teenagers unsupervised.

Apparently, his kids thought otherwise, and somehow thought it was a good idea to splash a bucket of ice water on him every half hour, just for the fun of it.

Hermes groaned. Hopefully, whatever Artemis was planning to do didn't require any amount of energy or physical activity.

Of course, it did.

**One of my readers wanted (long ago) to read about how Hermes deals with his crazy kids in his cabin, so here you are! I know, not very good, but I just wanted to publish a chapter soon, because I know I haven't in a while (blame school and random extra-curricular stuff!).**


	15. Mantracker

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter <strong>**Fourteen**

* * *

><p><em>Apollo's POV (Point Of View)<em>

The entire Artemis Cabin was grinning from ear to ear (which I had previously thought impossible). I didn't take this as a good sign.

As usual, being the awesome god of prophecy, I was right.

"Hello, campers," my little sister said in a much more cheerful voice than usual, "we have decided on a... suitable activity to do today." I didn't like where this was going. "What we have in mind is a -"

"MANHUNT!" All the Hunters roared simultaneously, and cheered, as did a few campers.

"Um, what exactly is a _Manhunt_, Lady Artemis?" Chiron inquisited nervously.

"Have any of you watched the insanely awesome show Mantracker?" Artemis addressed the crowd.

All the Hunters nodded. It aired on Hephaestus TV and Vulcanic TV weekly, and many of the Hunters watched it to learn about hunting and tracking. But, as the demigods were usually the ones getting _hunted_, not being the _hunters_, everyone else shook their head. She proceeded to explain that Mantracker was a reality TV show where an expert tracker called the "Mantracker", pursues two individuals in the remote Canadian or American wilderness. The pursued, referred to as "Prey", must elude capture while attempting to reach a finish line within thirty-six hours.

"Man_hunt_ is basically like that, but it's every man for himself. And there is a lot more than one tracker. Because," sis explained, "every single girl is!"

Most of the girls cheered. I called out, "what about the guys?"

She rolled her eyes. "They're the prey."

The apocalypse was beginning. Again.

However, a few of the younger campers were still quite confused. "What do they do?"

Thalia said, "The prey run away from the trackers. If they're caught, they'll be brought to the infirmary, where the nymphs will, ah, _deal_ with them." She smiled wickedly. I didn't like how she said '_deal _with them'.

"No use of godly powers is allowed," Artemis continued. "Magic items, deadly weapons, etc., are. But only for the trackers. The prey can only run away. Just don't try to kill anyone. Chiron and the satyrs will act as medics, and will be stationed around the area."

"Are we playing in the forest?" someone asked.

"Too small. We're playing in a forest the Hunters like to hunt in a lot, which means there's a lot of monsters there. Kananaskis."

"Can-of-what?"

"_Kan-a-nas-kis_," Arty said slowly, dragging out each syllable. "It's in Canada."

"Where Boreas and the Hyperboreans and Laestrygonians are?"

"Exactly."

"So where is this Can-a-nass-kiss place?" someone else yelled.

"Well, I'm about to show you," she smiled. "Kindly close your eyes."

Of course, being a super awesome god, I didn't have to, but we were traveling so fast, and I was so disoriented, that it didn't make a difference. By the time I regained my balance again, I saw we were in a dense forest filled with assorted pine trees and other coniferous plants.

I shivered – despite the fact that it was July, the forest blocked out most of the sun, and the temperature was lower than it was at camp.

_I get cold too easily_, I thought. But who can blame me? I'm the god of hotness – both kinds.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Ah, the wonderful show of Mantracker. I got the explanation for it off of Wikipedia, because I suck at explaining these types of things :)**

**2) Review and I will tell you the meaning of life the universe and everything! (No, its not 42.)**


	16. S'mores

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen<strong>

* * *

><p>Connor twiddled his thumbs nervously, crouching behind a bush.<p>

He hoped desperately no one would find him. Who knew what horrors awaited him at the jail?

A twig snapped behind him and he yelped, leaping to his feet, about to draw his sword, when he remembered that it had been confiscated.

"Whoa!" Percy backed up. "It's okay, man! It's just me."

"Phew," Connor wiped his forehead, which was wet with nervous sweat. "This manhunt's been making my nerves all jumpy."

"Same," Percy sighed. "When d'you reckon this game will end?"

He shuddered. "I hope we don't. What I want to know is, when we'll be caught."

A voice said, "Now."

Connor turned around to find a bronze knife at his throat.

A familiar girl asked, "Miss me?" Annabeth appeared out of nowhere, taking off her Yankees hat.

Percy yelled something muffled, and Connor noticed that his friend was wrapped from head to toe with a Celestial Bronze whip, which, of course, didn't hurt him, but rendered him immobile. Connor made a rather undignified squeak when he saw the wielder of the whip.

"Y – you!" He gasped.

His twelve year old half-sister smiled sweetly, but didn't say anything.

"Now, how to deal with you. What do you think, Jayson?" Annabeth asked.

"Little sis!" He cried, which made Jayson scowl. "You're going to turn us into the jail?"

Percy twisted and writhed on the ground, letting them know he was still there, but was ignored.

"There _is_ another option," Jayson's grin widened. "How would you like giving up your desert for a week? We'll let you go in exchange."

Percy shook his head frantically, as best he could, at the same time Connor shouted, "Never!"

"Then it's off to jail for you two," Annabeth said. "And by the screams we heard, it's not pleasant."

"Did you know some of the Aphrodite girls are helping there?" Jayson added. "You _don't_ want to go there."

Connor swallowed. "I trust your judgement." Percy nodded. "Now let us go already!"

"Swear it on the Styx," Annabeth and Jayson said simultaneously.

Connor cursed under his breath. "_Come on_… fine. I swear it on the Styx." Thunder rumbled.

"Mm m m mm m mm!" Percy mumbled. It must've worked, because there was more thunder. Or maybe Zeus had just been caught.

Anyhow, Jayson released the whip and Annabeth sheathed her knife. "Thank you. Nice doing business with you." They smiled and licked their lips, in anticipation of the desert they would soon be receiving. "In the meantime, we'd better get going."

"To rob more people of their s'mores," muttered Connor.

Percy scowled. "That was not fun… My own girlfriend would do this to me! Talk about heartless."

"Well, at least we escaped being sent to the jail, right?" Connor tried to look on the bright side as they continued walking, watching warily for any sign of movement around them.

Suddenly twelve arrows pinned him by his clothes to a nearby tree. Percy tried to run, but his foot caught in a rope and he found himself dangling two feet off the ground, suspended by his left ankle.

"I spoke too soon," Connor said weakly.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Yes, very short, I know, and I apologize, but I just wanted to post a new chapter. I think for these Manhunt scenes, I'll just do one scene per chapter, so while they'll be short, I'll probably be able to post more often.**

**2) I have a question: As you know, this chapter revolves mainly around Connor and Percy. Would you like to see more Manhunt scenes from their point of view, or from other [demi]gods?**


	17. Hermes & Artemis!

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

"I think we've shaken them off for now," Hermes was slightly out of breath.

"Phew," his brother gasped for air. "I think I might've died if we didn't stop and take a break soon, if I wasn't immortal."

"But thanks to me, we got away safely." Hermes smirked. "I TOLD you diving into that pond would work."

Apollo shook his head in disgust. "I can understand why Artemis didn't follow us into there! Absolutely filthy! I probably won't be able to get rid of the stench on my clothes for -" He suddenly sobbed as he realized something. "Oh, my poor clothes... All ruined... My beautiful, incredible clothes..."

Hermes rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop with the acting, _drama queen_."

Apollo glared at him. "These shoes are_ vintage_! And the clothes are -"

"Designer brand, I know. All your clothes are. Anyway, we'd better get going -"

"What!" Apollo complained. "We don't even get a break?"

"Unless your definition of break is jail time," Hermes began walking briskly.

Apollo stretched lazily, as if he were just getting out of bed. "Come on. A few minutes wouldn't hurt. Besides, my legs are too sore."

Hermes muttered "Wimp," under his breath, but reluctantly took a seat beside Apollo.

A break _did_ sound pretty good...

Suddenly, Apollo leapt to his feet. "Run."

"Why - ooh." Apollo was already sprinting as fast as his vintage shoes-clad feet could carry him. Artemis was racing toward them full tilt, a look of triumph on her face. In his haste to get up, Hermes tripped over his own feet, crashed into a tree branch, and slipped face-first into a mud puddle, but he kept running.

He couldn't get caught. He couldn't get caught. He couldn't get caught. Hermes repeated that to himself like a mantra, spurring himself to go faster. He risked a tiny look back, and to his pleasure, saw Artemis start to fall behind.

Then he looked forward, and yelped. Apollo was running blindly forward about three meters in front of him, right towards the edge of a cliff.

He skidded to a stop as his brother sprinted over the edge, tread air for a few seconds, and dropped. A scream was heard.

"Stop, Arty!" He shouted. "There's a -"

Too late. Artemis crashed into him at top speed, sending them flying off the cliff.

Down the two went, in a tangled bunch of limbs, hair, and lots of creative cursing.

"Ow!" cried Hermes as Artemis kicked him in a place that hurt.

"Get your dirty little hands off my -"

They fell into the upper branches of a pine tree, and continued falling, but this time with a lot more branches and pinecones and swear words.

Finally they landed with a thump and several grunts of pain on the pine-needle covered ground.

"Um," said Apollo, who was sitting on the ground beside them, also looking like he'd hit a tree on the way down.

"Um," said Hermes, his face turning scarlet.

"Um," Artemis agreed, noticing their rather compromising position, and turning a little pink herself.

"You're blushing," Hermes smirked at her, which made her blush even more.

"I am not. I'm just sweaty."

"Yeah right," he grinned.

She got to her feet, deliberately, using Hermes' face as a support and 'accidentally' stepping on his stomach.

"Ow!" He complained.

Apollo glared at the two of them. "Are you done flirting yet?"

"We're not flirting!" Artemis shouted, turning even redder, if that was possible. "Just for that, you get to go to jail."

Apollo gulped loudly. "Oop – I mean, wow! I had _no idea_ why I thought you were _flirting_! I mean, _anyone_ can see that you two were just _talking_! Seriously, I _must have_ bonked my head _pretty hard_ on the way down to think that you were _flirting_! Geez, _what_ is _wrong_ with me?"

Hermes mentally smacked Apollo. Did he have to be _that_ obvious? Okay, he did have to cut him some slack, being the god of truth and all, but was he really _that_ bad at lying?

Artemis seemed to think the same thing. She rolled her eyes and and brushed herself off before drawing two hunting knives and holding her two prisoners at sword point – or is it knife point?

"The Jail's this way," she grinned at them and gestured towards the direction of the jail. "What are you waiting for? It's gonna be fun – for me, at least."

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Yay! Halloween is almost upon us. I am happy. I'm planning to either be a pie robber or Percy Jackson (eleven different people, including three teachers, have mistaken me for a boy this school year). Which one do you think I should be?**

**2) I can't believe I didn't remember to say this before, but this story was nominated for the previous round of the Veritas Awards (www dot fanmortals dot webs dot com)! I didn't win, but still, isn't that cool? And to whoever nominated me, _THANK YOU SO MUCH_! I love you almost as much as I love pie! Here, have a free pumpkin pie with whipped cream! :D ~  
>I know, it's possibly the lamest text pie ever, but it's something, right? If anyone knows a better one, PM mereview! (_)**


	18. Punishment

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen<strong>

_Third Person's POV (Point Of View)_

"Hey," Phoebe scrutinized Connor. "Aren't you one of the Stoll Brothers? The ones who gave me that centaur-blood t-shirt?"

"What?" Connor panicked. "The Stolls? Nah, don't know them. No… must've been a different guy."

"Yeah, you're a Stoll." Phoebe decided. "Sons of Hermes, clumsy pranksters, terrible liars? Yup, definitely. I'll have to recommend a _special_ torture for you…"

"NO!" Connor cried. "I don't know no Stoll! You have to wrong guy here! My name is, uh, Billy Joe! Lots of people confuse me with them, no idea why…"

"Ahem," said Percy, interrupting their little 'reunion', "we're here."

"Eep," said Connor in a small voice.

They was in a reasonably large clearing, with nymphs standing around the borders with their arms crossed, like a group of very green, very cute security guards.

Connor tried for a charming, flirty smile. It probably came out more like a grimace. "Hey! Um, naiads…"

"We're dryads," one nymph informed him coldly.

He swore. Connor could never remember which nymphs were dryads and which were naiads. Why did they have to all sound so similar?

Phoebe marched them towards a nymph that looked a lot like Juniper.

That was because she _was _Juniper.

"Hello," she said brightly, like they weren't about to all die horrible disgusting gruesome humiliating deaths. Of course they were.

"Juniper!" Percy gasped. "You're not really going to…"

"Of course I am. Don't be silly."

The boys cringed as Juniper took them from Phoebe (who immediately set out to capture more unfortunate males) and led them on an unwanted tour through the 'torture area'.

First they passed by the son of Dionysus, Pollux, who was being mobbed by a seemingly endless group of little kids, who had been told he had candy. They were crawling over him, tugging at his hair, and repeatedly kicking and scratching him for not giving the non-existent treats to them.

Connor shuddered and hoped that the fates would be kinder to him than they had been to Pollux.

A group of Aphrodite girls were chasing their brother Mitchell with lipstick and razors (it was every Aphrodite kid's nightmare to be shaved bald) as he ran around, wearing only his underwear and – was that a bikini? If only they had a camera…

Hermes and Apollo were trying to cover their ears and screaming as a really really bad opera singer's voice blared out at top volume, while laughing nymphs pelted them with what looked like giant cakes. Percy might've laughed if he wasn't so nervous.

At last, Juniper brought them to a horribly familiar man dressed completely in black and holding a ski mask…

"Hades?" Percy whispered, wide-eyed.

Juniper bowed, but the boys were too shocked to do the same.

The King of the Underworld smiled at them pleasantly. "Do you know why I'm here?"

"Aren't you supposed to be, I dunno, getting dunked in toilet water or thrown off cliffs or something?" asked Connor quizzically.

Hades rolled his eyes. "I was the one who assigned those punishments. When I got caught, I convinced Artemis that I would be able to offer some helpful insight on the many different ways to torture the prisoners here, as I have quite a lot of experience in that field."

"I can imagine," Connor muttered.

"What was that?" Hades asked.

"Nothing," said Connor quickly.

"So," Hades put his fingertips together in the classic 'evil genius villain' pose. "What to punish you with. I've been waiting for this for a long time, you know." He grinned cruelly. "You two are possibly my two least favourite demigods –"

"Good to know," scowled Percy.

"– but because of the stupid 'no interference' rule, I can't do anything about it except send monsters after you!"

"Yeah, thanks for that Hellhound for Christmas last year. I really appreciated it ripping my arm off," Connor put in sarcastically.

"TMI!" Percy moaned.

"I have the perfect idea!" Hades suddenly clapped his hands together happily, which was a rare event indeed. "See that group over there?"

Percy and Connor followed his gaze and saw a large group of bored-looking girls. They recognized some campers, a few Hunters in their silvery clothing, and many dryads with green skin.

"What about 'em?" Connor asked warily.

"I WANT YOU TO EAT PIE!" Hades roared.

"Um… what?" Percy stifled a laugh. Connor looked absolutely taken aback, and took a few steps back.

"EAT PIE OR ELSE!"

"Do you have issues?" Connor wrinkled his forehead, utterly perplexed by Hades' sudden change of mood and actions.

"EAT PIE OR EAT PIE!" Hades shook them, the maniacal fire in his eyes burning so intensely that Connor could actually feel heat coming from them.

Percy backed away, terrified, but Hades grabbed him and Connor and shook them. "YOU MUST EAT PIE!"

"Does he always act like this?" Connor questioned rhetorically, slightly disturbed.

"I-d-don't-n-know," answered Percy, whose voice was stuttering due to being shaken around so much.

"LET US EAT PIE!" Hades screamed, and with a fanatical wave of his hands, a table appeared, swaying slightly with the weight of at least fifty different pies.

The boys scrambled away in horror and ran for their lives – and appetites.

As they were escaping the horrific scene, Connor thought, _Jayson would've loved this_.

Percy, on the other hand, made a mental note that, as soon as this was over, he would talk to Nico about getting his dad to see a psychiatrist.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) ****Whoo! I finished The Medusa Plot (Cahills vs. Vespers book two). Why is Amy dating Evan? She's supposed to be with Ian (even though they're distantly related, but still)!**

**2) You know what I find weird? In the Titan's Curse, there's a random guy called Jason who goes with Silena and some other girl to distract the Hunters in Capture the Flag. And then, in the Lost Hero, there's **_**another**_** Jason… why can't Rick Riordan think of names other than Jason?**

**3) I'm terribly sorry for this story's stupid, weird, random, brutally executed ending. I had writer's block, and I was in a pie mood. Well, okay, I'm always in a pie mood, but still.**

**4) Do you guys still remember Jayson (from the pie-eating incident)? **

**5) Oh, and by the way, thanks a ton to Hopee2 and Sunny99 for giving me torture ideas! You are awesome!**


	19. Mutton

**The Gods Visit Camp**

By Me The Awesome

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**I'M BACK from NaNoWriMo! DID YOU MISS ME? Please don't say you missed me.**

* * *

><p>After Hades had been bullied into seeing a therapist, Juniper and a few of her dryad friends had been put in charge of arranging punishments.<p>

One nymph in particular, a plump nymph with a bushy bob hairdo named Gabby, a cabbage nymph, came up with the idea of a pit filled with singing cabbages.

This might not sound so bad, until you experience the horror yourself.

A satyr wandered in to heal some of the campers, and Gabby immediately started repeatedly whispering 'Mutton... mutton... mutton..."

Although dryads are known to be strict vegetarians, Gabby had a strange fondness for sheep meat, even though she had never tasted any herself. Juniper pulled her back, as it was soon revealed the approaching satyr was her boyfriend.

Grover, stupidly brave and loyal satyr that he was, seeing Percy and Connor suffer, piped up, "Come on, Juniper. What've they ever done to you?"

Juniper's eyes glinted cruelly, which looked *extremely* evil on a dryad. "Goat boy -" Grover gasped at him being called a name by his own girlfriend "- if you're going to get in my way, I might as well throw you into the cabbage pit with them."

Grover, shocked, paused and considered this.

Cabby carried on chanting 'mutton' quietly. This is about the most agressive thing you can do to a satyr, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying *Blood... blood... blood... blood...*

Finally Grover said quietly, "I can see this relationship is something we're all going to have to work at," and scampered off.

So much for being loyal.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Thank you very mucho to the wonderful ILoveBem, who gave me permission to use her fantastic singing cabbages idea.**

**2) Who caught the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy reference and quote? :D It's one of my favourite books of all time.**

**3) I don't own The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy or any of its content in any way, shape, or form. It all belongs to the amazing genius Mr. Douglas Adams.**

**4) Sorry for this chapter's extreme shortness and lameness, but I'll be posting again soon, so don't worry. I just wanted to quickly post something after NaNoWriMo.**


	20. Not again!

**Chapter 19 of Awesomeness**

* * *

><p><em>Katie's POV<em>

I was pretty sure _I _had never been this stupid in second grade. Well, not all of them were exactly _stupid_, but the Athena demigods were way too eager. A few of them had even brought notebooks so they could record all the moves I taught them. Clovis' children weren't interested in much except how soft the straw dummies were. The Hermes kids were creeping around putting itching powder down everyone's backs, and the Aphrodite campers… don't even get me started on them.

One of Clovis' half-sisters raised her hand. "Excuse me, but if we have to raise our arm to block the blows, wouldn't that chop our arm off? I think that would hurt. And daddy says that that's no good for sleep at all."

"Well, yes, but that's only _if_ you need to block with your arm. Skilled swordfighters know how to parry a slash with their own sword," I explained patiently. "And speaking of that - do any of you know what a 'parry' is?"

A girl in a frilly pink silk skirt that was not suitable for dueling *at all* piped up, "Duh! My sister Drew says that Katy Perry's the bestest singer of all time! But I personally think she should get some more better clothes."

I groaned inwardly. Fortunately (and unfortunately) the class was interrupted by none other than Travis Stoll.

He was doing some sort of weird hop to get to me, and was shouting something.

"What?" I demanded when he got closer.

"How could you Katie! How could you, you cruel, heartless woman! I thought you loved me!" he bawled.

"You do?" All the Aphrodite kids squealed at once.

"Ugh, what do you want, Stoll," I sighed. "I'm kind of busy here."

"Well, you know that Juniper girl?" Travis said. "Well, during Lady Artemis' little 'manhunt', some lunatic thought that _she'd_ be a good punishment arranger. Apparently Hades went insane or something."

"_What_?"

"Long story," he rolled his eyes. "Something about my brother and Percy being forced to eat pies. But the point is, Juniper and I are sort of enemies ever since that little prank with the dogs and her tree –"

"I notice you're enemies with a lot of people."

"Not the point! Anyway, Juniper gives me the worst punishment ever."

I was getting kind of bored. "That's very interesting Travis, now go away so I can teach these kids." I proceeded to show what a parry was. "See, _this _is called a parry," I said to the kids as I demonstrated on a straw dummy.

Travis hopped a few more steps towards me, overbalanced, and landed on his face, which must've hurt, but was still funny to watch. "And _that_," I smirked, "is called a Travis."

"So a 'parry' means blocking a sword, and a 'Travis' is falling on your face?" An Athena camper who looked like a miniature version of Malcolm asked, looking up from his notebook.

Travis shot him a dirty look as he rubbed his nose which looked like it was bleeding. "Aren't you going to help me, Katie? My _girlfriend_?"

I was annoyed. I was still miffed at the way he'd asked me to the dance – well, technically it wasn't even asking. It was tricking.

He could've done it like a normal person and just asked me out, plain and simple. I admit, I would've been more than happy if he did, but he just had to do it the Hermes way – trickery.

But seriously, who can resist a bet with a Stoll?

Now, I could take my sweet revenge.

"Did you know," I told my students, the Aphrodite kids in particular, "that Travis broke up with me yesterday?"

"I did not!" he hollered from the ground where he was lying, trying to get up.

"He did not!" gasped the Aphrodite campers, offended.

"Yup," I nodded for emphasis.

"Why?" a girl wearing lip-gloss and high-heels demanded Travis, giving him the evil eye and making him cringe.

"But – but I…" Travis tried to shrink away.

Too late.

"NOT AGAIN!" screamed Travis as a mob of girls swarmed him.

"So is _this_ what it looks like when the Aphrodite Cabin has a fight?" the Malcolm-clone asked.

I nodded. "You do _not_ want to get caught in that. Take my word for it."

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) I've written this in my other PJO story too, but I'd appreciate if you took a minute to read my short humorous Harry Potter parody of the over-used phrase "You Have Your Mother's Eyes". Thanks.**

**2) Also, I apologize for not updating faster these days, my school schedule is getting very hectic, what with basketball four times a week, band practice, skating, piano, YVC, homework… I think I'll stop blah-blah-blah-ing about my personal life. Yeah, okay.**

**3) Do you think I should start making longer chapters?**


	21. Fried Cheese

**Notes:**

**1) ANYWAYs… I AM BAAAAAACK! I am so happy! I was really busy as you know but now that it's almost summer my schedule is a bit cleared up. So sorry that it took so long. :'(**

**2) On a happier note, I WENT TO NEW YORK CITY! It was amazing. You should all go sometime. And yes, I did try to ask for the 600****th**** floor of the Empire State Building. The guy at the desk wasn't too nice when I did.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty<strong>

Hermes woke to find the whole of his cabin's campers were scrambling around, doing their classic 30-second under-the-bed cleaning job.

He was proud to see they had inherited their sloppiness from their father.

It was Cabin Inspection Day, one of the only two known events ever to be able to drive demigods into mass panic, the other being massacred by an army of Kronos' monster minions.

Chris Rodriguez stopped long enough to demand, "Dad! Aren't you going to _help _at all?"

Hermes snapped his fingers, and instantly all the random piles of clothes, weapons, and other assorted miscellanea disappeared.

"Why didn't you do that earlier?" One of his kids grumbled.

"Hey! I was busy sleeping! I didn't know today was Cabin Inspection day."

Hermes peered out the window to see Annabeth talking to Katie, who was on Inspection duty for the day. "…Don't even need to come in, Katie. You know how clean our cabin always is."

"Yeah, but can I come in anyway? I want to see that idea for the snack bar on Olympus that you've been working on."

Hermes' face twisted into an evil grin. "That gives me an idea…"

Half the cabin silently groaned, while the other half silently cheered.

"What is it?" Connor asked excitedly.

"Just wait for it…" he waited until Annabeth's hand reached the door.

Instantly, ten simultaneous yells came from inside the cabin as a wave of junk flowed out the door, like some demented slug, knocking the door into Annabeth and Katie, who flew backwards in a rather comical way.

"How did you do that?" Travis asked with glee.

"I just teleported all the stuff you were trying to stuff under the beds to their cabin." Hermes smirked.

"This… this isn't even our stuff," Annabeth stammered, faint from the total chaos and messiness of this absolute horrific scene. Half-eaten meals, unwashed boxers, and confetti was mixed in with books that had never been read, stupid-looking gift sweaters, and a giant box full of… _something_. Annabeth didn't even want to know what was in there.

It was every daughter of Athena's nightmare.

"Huh? I think I've seen this somewhere…" Katie bent over and grabbed what looked like a can of spray paint from the pile of trash. 'TRAAAAAAAAAAAVIS!" She hollered.

"How did she know it was mine?" he trembled, afraid of Katie's wrath.

Athena, stepping out of the mess and glared in the general direction of Hermes' Cabin.

"ATTACK!"

She pounded on the door. "HERMES! I know you did this!"

"Quick! What do you do when an angry goddess is banging on your poorly-constructed door?"

"I dunno," one of his daughters panicked. "What?"

"Sit and wait to die!" Hermes laughed loudly, but his voice quickly trailed off. "What? You don't think it's funny?"

* * *

><p>"Trololololol, lolololololol!"<p>

"Apollo is festive today," Grover said to Percy as they watched him sing.

"That not a good thing, is it?"

They ate their breakfast as usual, occasionally shooting nervous glances at Apollo, who seemed even jollier than normal.

Near the end of the meal, Rachel suddenly doubled over, about to spout another prophecy. Two kids grabbed her while a third helped ease her onto a stool.

The camp waited with baited breath.

"Apollo shall go next," green smoke poured out of her mouth. "It's good to eat Tex Mex."

Apparently that was all, because Rachel then straightened up, her eyes cleared, and she no longer spewed smoke. "What'd I say?"

"That was probably the strangest prophecy I have ever witnessed," Chiron looked puzzled.

"She must've made it up!" some Ares kid accused.

"Hey!" she yelled in his general direction. "I don't even know what I said! Why don't you go ask Apollo?"

Mutters were heard around the pavilion.

Apollo was looking pleased. "Well! Looks like I'll have to pick an activity this time!"

"Yes Lord Apollo," Chiron said, still weirded out by the prophecy, and suspicious it had something to do with the god.

His kids gathered around, expecting a discussion, but Apollo, self-centered as he was, was already standing up. "I've already decided. We're gonna have a talent show!"

"What?" Will Solace whined, "Dad!"

"Hang on son; I feel a haiku coming on."

A collective moan echoed around the tables. Strangely, instead of groaning like everyone else, Artemis just smirked. Pleased that his sister had finally learned to appreciate his natural poetic talent, he began, "Fried cheese is - gah! Hagg-gag-ca!" he made choking noises. "What the -?" he sat down heavily, unable to finish his poem.

Artemis' smile widened. "Liking your little curse, Apollo? That's what you get for flirting with my Hunters during our man hunting activity."

"You!" Apollo gaped at his twin, and realizing with horror what she had done. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**1) Short, yes I know, and I'm sorry. You deserve a longer chapter, but all the chapters like this one are pretty short, so yeah.**

**2) Also, Apollo was requested by someone, sometime long ago. I don't remember who, but well, anyway...**

**BYE!**


	22. An Evil Plan

**Holy tuna, guys! It's been nearly two entire years since I've been on Fanfiction and needless to say I feel terrible! I'm a horrible person but I hope that in time you'll be able to forgive me. Here is a chapter (still continuing from the last one) to compensate.**

* * *

><p>Now that Artemis's curse had safely ensured Apollo could no longer recite any more haikus or any other sort of poetry, he was a lot less frustrating to be around.<p>

As his cabin rushed around preparing what he had code-named "Project Apollo Is Awesome," he himself was busy going around ordering people to get to work on preparing a talent showcase.

"Remember, EVERYONE has to do a piece! Get 'Kraken', people! Ha ha, get it? Crackin'? Kraken? That was a good one!"

Percy groaned, something he found himself doing alarmingly often in Apollo's presence. "Lord Apollo, but what if we aren't talented in anything? I'm not that great at, you know, performance-type stuff."

"Nonsense!" Apollo shouted. "You're perfectly capable! Remember that time you and Annabeth took a ride on the Tunnel of Love ride? That was some top-notch entertainment right there! I still have that episode saved on my PVR."

"Wait... what?!"

"Yeah, you guys were the 32nd episode on Hephaestus TV's reality show, The Secret Lives of Humans. Best show since Olympian Idol, if you ask me."

"Wait, what? That… that was part of a TV show?"

"Yep. You two were fantastic. Though I still love that episode where Poseidon and Athena made out –"

"WHAT?!"

"Don't worry, they were both pretty drunk at the time." Apollo rambled on for a while about his various other favorite episodes for a while before noticing that Percy's expression hadn't changed for the past five minutes.

"Are you okay?" He waved his hand in front of Percy's face, with no result. "Help! Quick, someone get a doctor! Oh wait, that's me."

Before he could do any medical stuff, Percy came to consciousness. "Oh my gods. Oh my gods. I am scarred for life. Why did you have to tell me that."

_Uh oh._ "What?" Apollo hoped he hadn't accidentally told Percy about the time he had mistaken his sister for a random stranger and tried to ask her out. Or that other time when he'd barged into Ares's room only to find the god of war receiving pole dancing lessons from Loki*****. There were some things that even the god of knowledge did not need to ever see. _Ever_.

"My dad kissed Annabeth's mom."

"Huh? Oh, that! Sheesh kid, you nearly gave me a heart attack there. I mean, if gods could get heart attacks. Thought I maybe gave away something important, like that secret that Poseidon made me promise not to tell you." It slowly dawned on Apollo that that had been exactly what he had given away.

The kid was looking thoroughly traumatized by the information. He seemed incapable of doing anything else other than saying, "My dad kissed Annabeth's mom. My dad kissed Annabeth's mom," over and over again.

Apollo panicked. He lied quickly. "Uh, actually, it's not the Poseidon and Athena you know. They're actually these two… uhhhhh… penguins… at Seaworld." _Did Seaworld even have penguins_? "And they like drinking beer and kissing. It's, uh, very… normal penguin behavior." _God, I'm bad at this_, thought Apollo. There was a reason he was the god of honesty.

Well, there was nothing else for it. Centuries of accidental revealing of embarrassing secrets had left Apollo with a lot of experience in this field: He whacked Percy really hard on the side of the head. The boy went out like a light.

**ooo**

Percy woke up with a horrible throbbing headache on one side of his head. He turned around, squinting at his surroundings. He seemed to be in the Big House, the very spot where he had first met Annabeth and she'd told him that he drooled in his sleep. He wiped his mouth with his hand and thankfully there was no drool. As his vision focused he saw a concerned-looking Annabeth and Chiron crowding around him. So was Apollo.

"Hey… Mind telling me what happened?"

Annabeth spoke up. "Apparently you just fainted, Percy… You're okay now, thanks to Lord Apollo. He was the only one there when you passed out."

"Must've been the heat," Apollo suggested. Was it just him or did the god look uneasy? "Don't worry, you didn't damage anything important. But you might have a recurring vision of your dad kissing Athena. They don't mean anything."

Apollo quickly high-tailed out of the room, leaving a very confused Annabeth and Percy behind.

**ooo**

Meanwhile, in the Hermes Cabin, no one was doing any preparation in the slightest for tonight's talent show. Most of them weren't doing anything at all – the day was so hot none of them had quite as much energy as normal. Hermes lounged on a bed randomly spraying the air with bug spray, aiming for any unfortunate insects that might have wandered into the cabin.

Only Connor and Travis were still animated as usual, deeply engaged in discussion on their next scheme. It had something to do with Katie… most of their plans these days had something to do with Katie. Or French Horns.

"You know what we should do?" said Hermes suddenly.

"What?" his kids asked, not really caring.

"We should wreck his show."

"Is that safe?" inquired Jayson******.

"Of course it is! Have some faith in your father, girl." Hermes sat up, bug spray in hand. "It's common knowledge that Apollo is a self-centered idiot, right? And he's absolutely convinced this show is going to rock everyone's shorts off. The whole camp would love it if, say, something were to happen to prevent the show from taking place…"

Chris raised his head from the mattress. "You're evil, dad. Evil but awesome."

Hermes started laughing maniacally and the rest of his cabin joined in. Soon, any demigod walking near the cabin could hear deranged laughter coming from within and the ones with more sense figured now would be a good time to run for their lives while they still could.

* * *

><p><strong>NOTES:<strong>

***The pole dancing reference to Loki comes from a scene in the movie Thor (which is awesome, by the way, you all should watch it). Search up "Loki pole dancing" and you should get the idea.**

****If you don't remember, Jayson is an OC (no relation to Jason Grace) of mine who is a very very very minor character in this story.**

**1) This chapter was pretty bad and I apologize. It's been a while since I've written stuff like this and I'm out of practice. Hopefully I will improve quickly :)**

**2) Can you believe that the last time I updated this story, #swag was barely a thing? I can totally imagine Apollo in a swag cap and sunglasses while singing Thrift Shop or something.**

**3) The House of Hades cover came out yesterday and oh my gods so many feeeeels.**

**4) The ooo signifies a line break because Fanfiction no longer allows dashes or asterisks.**


	23. Blue Whale

"You do it!"

"No, you do it!"

"You're the only immortal around here! If he found out it was one of us he'd blast us to bits!"

"You think he wouldn't do that to me?"

"Gods, Dad, you're such a sissy."

"He's scary okay?"

"What are you guys up to?" Apollo walked around the corner.

Hermes's kids jumped when they saw Apollo. "Hey Apollo," said Hermes smoothly. "We were just preparing the skit that we're going to perform tonight."

"Yay!" Apollo squealed delightedly. "You know you can use the stage to rehearse; it's all set up now. I mean, unless you want it to be secret," he was grinning enthusiastically.

"Um yeah. I think we'll just stay here. Make sure everyone stays out, we want it to be a surprise."  
>"Totally!" Apollo was elated by the fact that Hermes was actually making an effort. "I'm so proud of my baby brother!"<p>

"Right. Okay, you can let go of me now." Hermes gently lifted Apollo's arm from his shoulders.

After Apollo had left, Travis sniggered. "What was that about you being his baby brother?"

"Shut up," Hermes muttered. His family never let by a chance to embarrass him. "Anyways, let's focus on carrying out the plan, shall we?"

"You do it."

"No, you do it."

**ooo**

It was eleven o'clock in the morning, and there was still no sign of the Hephaestus campers. Apollo was getting annoyed. He banged on the door to the Hephaestus Cabin. Instantly a metal arm shot out and grabbed him in a death grip. "OW!" Apollo shouted. "Let go of me, you idiot! HEPHAESTUS! Call of your demonic robot, it's mauling my arm!"

There was a noise from inside the cabin, and the metal arm let go, dropping Apollo on his butt. He was getting pissed. "Hephaestus, what are you doing inside there?"

"Sorry 'bout that," came a voice from within the cabin. "Just some security systems."

"Security from what?"

"The Hermes campers, mostly."

Apollo nodded knowingly. "Ah. I see." He stood up, dusting himself. "Well, get out of there! You're supposed to be preparing a talent for tonight."

"Nah," came the answer.

"Nah?" Apollo was incredulous. "_Nah_?_ NAH_?!"

"We don't really like performing."

Apollo gaped at the door.

Hephaestus's voice continued. "Yeah, I'm sorry, Apollo, but public performance just isn't really our thing."

Apollo glared at the door. "You're going to be sorry for this, Hephaestus."

"No doubt."

"…come on, Heph, I'm begging you. We're bros, aren't we?!"

"I guess you could say that."

"Well, you know what they say! Bros before stage fright!"

"I don't think that's what they say," came a demigod's voice from the cabin.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Apollo snapped. "I'm the god of knowledge, so of course that's what they say."

"HEPHAESTUS," Apollo sobbed grossly. "THE SHOW IS GOING TO BE A FLOP IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP. ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS ARE DEPENDING ON YOU. PLEEEEASE…"

"Nice try," the god of fire sounded amused.

"I'll sing you a song!"

"No, no, we're fine without it, really," Hephaestus hurriedly replied.

**ooo**

Finally, the time had come. It was the evening and everyone (sans the Hephaestus campers, who were still hiding up in their cabin) was nervously fidgeting in their seats, dreading their turn to come up and embarrass themselves in front of the camp.

Apollo pranced onto the stage shouting into the microphone, "Hello, and welcome to Camp Half-Blood's greatest talent show ever!" He attempted some Michael Jackson dance moves until he tripped while trying to moonwalk and fell onto his face.

The Apollo campers buried their faces in their hands while everyone else tried to stifle their laughter.

"Anyways," Apollo smoothed his hair once he had gotten up, "I'll be doing eeny meeny miny moe to pick who gets to go first."

After a nervous round of eeny meeny miny moe, in which everyone cringed when Apollo's finger passed over them, his finger landed on…

Percy Jackson.

"NO," Percy stood up so violently that Tyson, who was sitting beside him, yelped. "That was rigged! You must've skipped someone, or didn't do it properly, or something!"

"Percy, calm –" Poseidon tried to say.

"I thought my luck was pretty bad," Percy cut him off. "But it can't be _this terrible_!" Percy sank to his knees. "CURSE YOU, TYCHE!"

A certain goddess of luck stood up. "Excuse me?"

Percy looked at her for a second before recognition settled on his features. "Uhhh, I mean, curse you, _Tai Chi_. You know. The… martial art. _Tai Chi_."

Tyche, looking appeased, sat back down.

Percy gulped. He had no choice. He turned to the stage and stiffly walked up the steps. "Hi everyone, I'll be performing a skit with my dad and Tyson called The Life of a Sea God."

Apollo was the only one who looked enthusiastic.

Percy cleared his throat while waiting for Poseidon and Tyson to join him. Then he put on a pair of sunglasses while Tyson set up the props and Poseidon took out his trident. When everything was done, Percy began walking along the stage. "Wow, it seems like a great day to surf!"

"I knew you liked surfing!" yelled Nico from the audience.

Percy, pretending not to hear him, continued, "I'll just go get my board." He ran off the stage.

Poseidon appeared, holding his trident while majestically riding on a disgruntled Blackjack, who had been painted blue for the occasion. "Wow, it seems like a great day to surf! Bring me my surfboard, minions!"

He took a surfboard from Blackjack. Tyson, with his awesome mechanical skillz, made realistic-looking waves appear onstage, which Poseidon pretended to surf on.

Soon, the froth made from the surfing had made the entire sea stormy. Poseidon was having great fun surfing in semi-hurricane conditions, but just then Percy ran back on. "NOOOOO!" he feigned horror. "How am I supposed to surf now?"

Suddenly Percy's jaw dropped. He took off his sunglasses, revealing his eyes to be as big as dinner plates. He pointed to somewhere off in the distance. "B-bl-blue whale…"

Apollo, sitting right in front of the stage, clapped. "Bravo!"

"No, I'm serious. There's a blue whale behind you!" Poseidon had turned too now, and his eyes widened.

"Wonderful acting, guys!"

Percy and his father had started to madly run off the stage.

"Hey!" Apollo called. "Hey! You gotta stay on the stage for the whole thing! Come back!"

The sounds of a panicked herd of campers turned him. Everyone was scrambling out of their seats and running as fast as their legs could take them.

Apollo didn't understand. What were they all running to? Then he raised his head just a bit higher, and saw. A whale the size of the entire amphitheater was hurtling towards him. It landed on Apollo with a deafening _splat_, but not before he thought he heard it sing, "_We are family, even though you're fatter than me_."

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

**I tried to make this funny… I really tried…**

**ALSO! I've been wanting to get better at my art skills. So if you want me to draw something (be it an OC, fanart, or anything else), just send me a PM or a note on my DeviantART account. It's MeTheAwesome dot deviantart dot com.  
>And I will draw your request for free! ^.^ This way it will help me improve AND you can get a free personalized drawing :)<strong>

**Thanks!**


	24. Miss Big Three

**Grr! I really am such an awful person. I'm really mad at myself right now. I can't bring myself to write this story... I don't have many good ideas at the moment and I'm a huge procrastinator. To all my followers, I commend you for putting up with me.**

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><p>Apollo, still bruised and covered in seawater and whale slime, was pacing around on the ping-pong table of the Big House, his face screwed up into a concentrated frown. Either he was trying to use his gift of prophecy, or he felt constipated.<p>

Around him, the other gods lounged on lawn chairs, yawning and playing with the ping-pong balls at each other as Apollo tried to figure out who was to blame for ruining his show.

"Hm," he muttered to himself. "It can't be any of the goddesses because they're all nice –"

"I call sexism!" Artemis shouted.

"Okay, okay, little sis," Apollo said hurriedly. "All of them except you are nice."

"That's better," she crossed her arms.

"Might be Poseidon," he continued murmuring. "It _was_ a whale, after all… or maybe Hephaestus – IT'S YOU!" He whirled around, jabbing a finger at Hermes.

Hermes' mouth twitched. "What?"

"It's always you!" Apollo complained! "First the cow-stealing incident, then that time you put mousetraps in my shoes, and now this!"

"In his defense," said Hephaestus. "The rest of us thought it was hilarious, and it's already got over a million views on GodTube."

"YOU PUT IT ON THE INTERNET?!" Apollo wailed.

"I don't know what you're getting so worked up about," Hermes said. "It's not like this is as bad as the time we glued your eyelids shut while you were asleep and filmed it as you scrambled around screaming because you thought you'd forgotten to park the sun properly and that it had gone out."

"YOU PUT THAT ON THE INTERNET TOO?!"

**ooo**

"Despite Apollo's fiercest protests," Chiron announced to the camp that evening, "we will _not_ be giving his talent show another go –" At this, loud booing was heard from Apollo, while his kids looked uncomfortable and tried to hide their faces, " – and it is now time for the next god's turn." He drew the next name. "Poseidon."

"Yay!" cheered the Poseidon cabin, which of course consisted of only one demigod. "Woot woot! Go Poseidon! Sea and storms and stuff! Yeah!"

"Percy," Poseidon whispered out of the side of his mouth, seeing everyone was staring at them. "Maybe you could do this more… quietly."

"Anyways," Chiron cleared his throat to fill the awkward silence. "Poseidon will have until tomorrow morning to decide what his activity will be. Until then, disperse!"

**ooo**

"Dad," Percy asked his father as they walked back to the cabin, "what did Apollo do in the Big House? All we heard was a bunch of yelling and a few sparks flying out of the chimney."

"Oh, not much," Poseidon said mildly. "Apollo tried to stab Hermes with a pair of safety scissors, and ended up cutting some of Aphrodite's hair off. Everything kind of got crazy after that. Anyway, do you have any ideas for the activity tomorrow?"

"Not really," Percy scratched his head. "I'm not the best at this stuff… I usually get Annabeth to do it for me… Hm… We could play water balloon relay races?"

Poseidon looked at Percy like he was insane. "What is that word you mortals use? Ah yes, _laaaaame_."

"Water balloons are fun!" Percy said, annoyed. "Do you have a better idea?"

"What about chariot races?"

"Maybe," Percy mused. "But the last time that went on at Camp Half-Blood, things got a bit wild…"

"Ah, yes, I heard about the Stymphalion Birds," Poseidon said. "But I very much doubt they would attack with the gods here. Although you are right, it is perhaps too dangerous an event, even for demigods. What about a surfing competition?"

"NO!" Percy said quickly, not necessarily because he didn't want to admit to his dad that he had never surfed… "I mean, uh, half the camp is terrified of water, so…"

Poseidon sighed. "Well, I got nothin'."

Percy and Poseidon sat there for a long time, trying to come up with better ideas, before giving up. Poseidon had one last desperate idea. "A beauty contest. I'll have you know, I was voted Miss Big Three***** four decades in a row back in the 1700's."

"That doesn't – wait, you were in a beauty contest? ZEUS AND HADES WERE IN A BEAUTY CONTEST?"

It was almost midnight, but it was so hot that it was impossible to sleep. The occupants of the Cabin 11 now consisted of puddles of sweaty, gelatinous blobs that faintly resembled the children of Hermes.

"What happened to our air conditioning?" Chris asked, lazily spraying bug spray throughout the room at random.

"Hephaestus Cabin cursed it to malfunction for a week after that time we put taffy into their sandblaster," Travis said, lying on his bunk in nothing but a pair of shorts.

"Where's dad?" Connor asked, sucking on a popsicle, a cooler full of ice cream at his feet.

Travis wanted to know the same thing. "I bet he could pull some fancy trick that'd start the AC again. Or maybe he'd go steal a fan or something. Anything'd be better than this…"

At that moment, Hermes burst through the door excitedly, a huge grin on his face.

"There you are!" Connor leapt up from his seat. "Can you make it cool in here? We're dying. Where've you been?"

Hermes pulled out a small air fan and tossed it to Connor, who looked at it disappointedly. "This… this is all? Dad, I expected more of you."

"Don't blame me! I spent the entire morning getting chased by Apollo."

Chris shook his head. "You and Apollo… what is it with you two?"

Hermes shrugged. "It was his fault. He's so touchy –"

Suddenly, Apollo leapt from the ceiling onto Hermes, who collapsed under his weight and the sheer shock of the situation.

"WHAT THE _HADES_!" the entire cabin screamed.

Hades then materialized in the cabin. "Someone called?" Realizing that they had simply been using his word as a curse, he rolled his eyes. "Will you _please_ stop using my name! Why not, say, Artemis? Even that would be –"

Not having taken a good look at the sudden intruders, the Hermes campers rushed in a collective mob towards the group of gods, armed with pillows and Nerf guns. Unfortunately Artemis chose that moment to appear as well, after hearing her name uttered by Hades. "What's going on –" was all she was able to get out before she and Hades were assaulted by a variety of Hermes-style weapons, among them a water gun filled with spray paint and a confetti cannon. It was a good 20 seconds before Apollo managed to yell "GEROFFOF ME! HELP! HEEELP!"

Hades agreed by shouting something like, "I'm going to make sure all of you land in the Fields of Punishment," but it wasn't particularly threatening, mostly because he was trapped under the bodies and pillows of a bunch of demigods.

Anyhow, the half-bloods soon realized that they had two gods trapped underneath them, so the quickly jumped off and back into their original locations.

The gods lay, dazed, at the center of the carnage.

"That was… terrifying," Apollo said weakly. "Hermes, you ought to raise your kids better."

"It was worse than the time I got my head stuck in one of Cerberus' mouths," Hades groaned.

"We're really, really sorry, Lord Apollo, Lady Artemis, and Lord Hades," said one of the kids apologetically, though she didn't look very apologetic. Some of the other campers were holding up disposable cameras.

Hermes, still squished under Apollo and Artemis, lifted a hand. "Good… job," he groaned. "Now if someone… could… get this thing off… of me…"

Apollo jumped up. "Gah! Great, now I have Hermes germs all over me," he dusted himself off disdainfully.

Artemis shrieked when she realized her position and slapped Hermes.

"It's not my fault you were sitting on me!" Hermes complained. "Why am I always getting slapped?"

"What I'm wondering is, how do you two always end up in that position?" Connor pondered aloud, resulting in two furiously blushing gods raging at him.

Somewhere in Cabin 10, Aphrodite snickered.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

***More on this... later. Maybe.**

**1) Okay, so what would you like to see Poseidon's cabin do as their activity?**

**2) It's almost that time of year again. National Novel Writing Month! Are any of you participating?**

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><p>One last thing: in regards to the reviewer Satrz (or Starz), who wrote such stuff like<p>

"Hellooo! Hermes is not short. He is six feet (or long) and athletic with a most perfect body. I am his greatest admirer."  
>"Please don't make Hermes look like a present one. He is the best"<br>"Please don't humiliate Hermes like that. He is a very very clever god. And I don't understand what is with this vampire bunny pyjamas . I have read about that in other stories too . AND I am not reading this fanfic anymore ."

Please keep in mind that first of all, no one actually knows exactly what the gods look like, and they've already shown that they can easily change their appearance to whatever they'd like. I happen to like Hermes as a short, lean guy. I think it fits with his role as messenger and also the god of speed and thieves. I'm wondering where you got the 'six feet' information from. As far as I know, no classical sources have mentioned explicit heights for any of the gods.

I also happen to admire Hermes a lot, and I have for a long time. Please understand that I am fully aware of his awesomeness and abilities. But even the god of tricks can get tricked sometimes too, right? Even the gods aren't infallible.

I hope you realize that I'm not writing this to put Hermes in a bad light. The Hermes I write is the one I think is the best. I do love him a lot, but different people have different images of him in their heads. Ours just happen to differ.

Oh, and Hermes is the god of language and communication. Maybe you could at least check your grammar the next time you write.


	25. Very Important Notice

I have a sad announcement to make.

I've been thinking about this decision for a long time, and believe me, it was a very hard choice for me. I can't tell you the number of times I sat down and tried to write a decent chapter, and ended up utterly failing. At first I thought it was just an annoying case of writer's block, but when it wouldn't go away, I realized that I had simply lost my passion in continuing this story. And that's something that can't really be fixed.

I've moved onto other fandoms now, and my writing has changed drastically. This story is meant to be funny and entertaining, and lately I just don't have any more good ideas. I feel awful about it, I promise. I hate disappointing everyone, but I feel that this is better than churning out crappy chapters of nonsense that isn't going to go anywhere. You guys don't deserve an author who starts a story and never finishes it.

So that's why I'm officially **_posting this story up for adoption_**. Any avid readers of this fic (if there are still any), if you feel like picking up where I left off, please send me a message. I want to make sure this story goes to a good home, so I may ask you to send in samples of your writing and/or reasons you'd like to continue this fic. Also, I ask you to continue along the same general plot line that mine was, and not to add random embellishments and OCs. If you're interested I will send you more details and information.

If no one shows an interest in adopting... well, I guess this is it then. I had a great time writing this story and every one of your reviews and signs of support meant the world to me. But for me it's time to move on and I'm just sorry I'm not a good enough writer to finish this story properly.

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><p><strong>TL;DR<strong> I will no longer be updating this fic. Anyone who is passionate about this story and willing to continue it may contact me about adoption.

Goodbye, Percy Jackson fandom! I'll miss you.


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